Apprentice
Soap Dopes

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Washing out

Nipples and the Nippletones have no love for either of the commercials. They discuss the fact on Net Worth, there's the strange fact that they use the product completely wrong, in a way that makes it look gross. But Magna's "semi-porn movie" is "unairable." One of the women thinks that the ending where a guy leaves with a guy and a woman gets a cucumber isn't really her idea of a great concept. Heh. And they really, really hate the part where Net Worth managed to make refreshing body wash look gross. And also, where they used it on the guy's face. So Net Worth didn't really get what the product is, and that's a slight problem. Nipples just feels like they have nothing to pick on either side. They bring both teams back into the room.

Nipples makes the call to Trump. In the Trumpicopter, Trump asks him how it went. Nipples begins by saying that with Cucumber Dick, the Homosexual Commercial, he didn't even really get their ad, from the standpoint that he didn't even get what the product was. And also, Nipples doesn't think the "gay bit" is the "right positioning" for a "mass product." So much for outside the box. Nipples then turns to Net Worth, saying how really gross it was to see that guy rub body wash on his sweaty face. Nipples calls it "the most unrefreshing thing in the world," and even though that's not a word, I agree. "I've got to tell you, you both missed big. You both sucked," he says. Nipples tells Trump that he really can't recommend a winner, because both of the ads were that bad. Trump says that what they'll do is have no winner and no reward, and both teams will come back to the Boardroom. Anybody can be fired except Angie. Ooh, harsh!

Sadly, we watch the teams return to the Love Palace. Erin explains that the mood, of course, was very grim, seeing as how both teams had bombed at Madonna-movie levels. Michael gives Erin a big hug, hoping that she will perhaps not throw him to the wolves, since he was so obviously hated by everyone last week and by all rights should take the booting this week, as long as everybody's eligible. He interviews that because of his precarious position, he has to be nice in the Boardroom, even though he didn't support the vegetable porn. Kristen, on the other hand, says she just came back to the suite and went to bed, because she isn't used to hearing such nasty things said about her. I think it's safe to say that she is now. Everyone lolls around the L-Pal, and then it seems to be thundering and lightning…ing. Bren and Michael have a chat in which Bren says that he knows he'll be in some trouble for being the concept guy on Cucumber Dick, the Homosexual Commercial. Bren interviews, in fact, that this is his first trip to the Boardroom feeling nervous. Because he knows he might be fired for his "little vegetable porn creation." Yeah. You might. Bren also tells Michael that he hasn't slept a night since they've been there, and that's a little weird. Although it would explain his increasingly desperately rodential manner.

John has already, of course, positioned himself as almost un-fireable as a result of having been sent away for the actual shooting of the ad, and Kristen is working on him to support her in the idea that it was Tana and Audrey's fault that there wasn't good footage, because those two were in charge of the models. Kristen tries to instruct John about what he's going to say if Trump asks him why they didn't get more footage, but John tells her nothing doing -- he's going to say that he thinks they missed the joke in the entire way the commercial was shot. And that's a problem for her, obviously. He says that it will be up to her, then, to explain why the bad execution wasn't her fault. Damn, he is good. Kristen continues to equivocate, but John is in the best position of all, which is that he's good and he's been good, so he doesn't really have to play except when he decides he wants to. In an interview, he explains that Kristen is the one who said that the final (sucky) product indeed represented her (sucky) interpretation of his (slightly less sucky) idea, so he thinks she's clearly the one who should be fired.

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Apprentice

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