Soap Gets In Your Eyes

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Lesson Nine: Pain Is Temporary

Muna: "Heidi, please answer Mr. Trump who you want moving forward with you. Because you made an offhand comment earlier that has no bearing in this context, and also because the Lord is going to brainwash you into lying for me, because I'm pretty sure that's how God works."
Heidi: "Well. It's a 'great' question. Um. I would preface this with the fact that I respect each one of you..."
Ivanka: [Rolls her eyes and waits to grill Angela some more.]
Trump: [Screams at Heidi a thousand times to answer the bullshit question.]
Heidi's face: Go fuck yourself, old man. This is jank. You're stupid for thinking this matters.

And the thing about it is, I love this show so much, and this season so much, because once Michelle pointed out the Emperor had no clothes on, nobody's respected Trump in these boardrooms, and it's driving him nuts, and he's going on all these patriarchal limbs and threatening people nonsensically trying to get "respect" back from them, and it keeps going south on him, and that makes up for so, so much of what we've had to endure from this show until that point. Derek and Jenn? Slapping Randal? Heidi right now? That's my favorite one, because all the ridicule and hate is in her eyes, and Trump can't read eyes. He gets vocal tone and he gets some body language, but faces? Doesn't get it. Boys draw bodies, girls draw faces. He cannot see the scorn on her face because he doesn't see the emotion in her face because he doesn't get emotion, or rather, doesn't get that other people's subjective emotions have an existence and life beyond his stupid little tower he's built. So while I think Heidi's crossing the line into flagrant disrespect, and any normal viewer would have assumed her ass would be fired and possibly executed by snipers, but Trump: not seeing it. Has no idea she's broadcasting loud and clear that she's disgusted by him, after all this time. And that is fucking fly.

Heidi and Trump: [Nearly get into a fistfight that Trump doesn't even know they're having.]
Heidi: [Wins the fight Trump doesn't know they're having.]
Heidi: [Is wonderful.]
Heidi: "Fine. Kristine. As I was always going to say, and would have said immediately, until you decided to compare cock size."

Muna: [Breaks into a million shriveled, fist-shaped pieces, because what if in addition to no Heidi, there's also no God? Just Trump for no reason?]

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