Soap Gets In Your Eyes

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Lesson Nine: Pain Is Temporary

Heidi and Muna are onset, and it goes like this: Muna knocks on the door and immediately starts talking a mile a minute about how she needs to borrow sexy neighbor's cleaning products, and after a conversation about the pros and cons of scrubbing bubbles that goes by so fast it's just a high-speed whine between the two of them, like a VCR tape about to explode, Muna pushes her way into the house. At which point I'd stab her anyway, because that's a huge deal to me. Fucking pick up the phone, jerk. You can't understand a word either of them are saying, and they have to keep reshooting over and over because of the camera set-ups and people moving in and out of frame. Heidi's "nervous slut" act when she's trying to hide the man in her house is both hilarious and verrrry soap-opera-ready. That was pretty awesome watching her act like she'd done it before. (Playboy? Really? ... And more importantly, why do I kinda want to see that? What's Heidi doing to me?)

Angela interviews, on her return with Kristine, that they "weren't as far along as we thought," which looks cobrable at this point but will actually work out in Kristine's favor. Heidi explains the story to us and Kristine finally gets the behind the camera. Muna, by the way, looks incredibly beautiful and radiant this whole time. She should be in webisodes as like her job, because she looks wonderful. Kristine critiques the acting -- while ignoring the fact that they're both basically speaking gibberish -- and Muna gives some on-target Muna-ing back, about how in the flow of the script her acting is, in fact, correct. (Basically, she's acting mad, and Kristine tells her to dial it back, and Muna -- using far too many words -- explains that she's already seen the note from her husband that Heidi tried to hide from her, so her emotional intensity is appropriate.) Of course, the way it's cut together just adds to the Muna's-a-bitch storyline, both on the show and in Kristine's head, and I don't really agree with that. It's enough to show what she already did, and is doing, and leave it at that. Manufacturing a situation in which she's "still" complaining and nitpicking, when she's in the right, is stupid. "Muna's being Muna again," Kristine bottom-lines it for us, and lets us in on the secret that she'd drive Trump crazy if she worked for him. Which is no doubt true, because what wouldn't, but also: she's a black woman, a black person with strong opinions, and a woman with strong opinions and a decent ethical compass. The skies will rain Lexus Witchmobiles before that happens.

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