Quick Quiz! In your next task, you'll be demonstrating a fairly uncomplicated piece of televisual technology. You'll be showing people -- who are fully in possession of their own faculties -- basic TV functions: on and off, changing channels, and the like. Do you:
A. Decide to wing it -- how hard can a TV really be?
B. Spend the equivalent a fucking smoke break with the manual so you don't get embarrassed later.
C. Spend the time screwing around and thinking about how accomplished you are -- it's not like old people are capable of learning, or being taken seriously.
D. Get grossed out on a visceral level that you've been asked to do something so demeaning as turning a TV on and off when there are Lycra pushups to be done.
Answer Key:
B, because it's no skin off your ass, and because nobody is so special that they get to opt out of basic preparedness. God.
Partial credit: A, with the caveat that you take the time Jen W. "spends" getting everything "ready" to at least try turning the thing on and off, or something.
Jen M. demonstrates an exercise heart monitor for some old guy whilst wearing a superhero outfit. Rebecca stares and Carolyn laughs as it goes on and on, Jen M. doing pushups and sweating. The old guy says, "If my wife was around she'd kill me." She shows the guy the heart monitor once she's done, and points out that her heart rate is now at 113. The old guy's like, "That's very high -- I've got you very excited." Jen M. is awesome as she removes the heart monitor and is very busy with her hands, indulgently murmuring, "Jim, what am I going to do with you?" It's very cool and redeems the whole thing. She I Dream Of Jeannies that they'll probably win because of their concept, but "if we get a good score because of the old men, I'll take it." Cut to an old man filling out a survey: "Thanks for the pretty girls." This is all so meta about Trump and this whole season full of beauty queens that it makes my brain hurt. Like: "I'll probably succeed because I'm brilliant and have all this awesome experience and am already the most successful person I know, but...if I do better because of horny old goats, I'll take that, because it's a win/win, and boys are easy." No sweat. Third Wave feminism rocks!













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