Something Old, Something New

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Three: Whoring It Up For The Community

The women return to the suite looking stressed. Jen W.'s posture, among other things, is horrible. She whines to us in interview about how Rebecca "stabbed her in the back" (So?) and how she's "very, very" lots of things, mostly resolving down to being very, very disappointed (So? Times one thousand?) in Rebecca. She cries with Kristi and Kristi tries to calm her down, and she kind of goes ballistic. "I'm just so fucking tired…" And then she hurls herself back onto the bed and starts screaming: "And I don't even like to cuss! I'm a-gonna take a piece of soap to my mouth right now!" Kristi's like, "Whoa! Dude! Hey, Jen!" and everybody but Rebecca and Toral sits on the bed looking dour and watching her lose her mind. Dear reader, I know we haven't been together long, but surely you know by now how deeply offensive I must find all of this. I would not have sat still for five seconds of this bullshit, and I sure as hell wouldn't have been an audience for it. How toxic can you get? Women in business don't cry, my dear.

Meanwhile, the Excel guys are enjoying their reward. Josh calls the whole rewarding idea of giving presents to kids "a phenomenal concept" and says that seeing the children smile is not quantifiable. He comes off as amazingly genuine here. Clay tickles a child, Markus gives a kid an X-Box, Mark wonders at how even really sick kids can be distracted from their situation through the magic of toys. James makes a little girl laugh AWESOMELY. Markus and Josh hang out with the more bedridden kids, and Josh continues with the whole starry-eyed thing about how great it was. I sure do like Josh. Everybody is clearly enjoying this, and not in a lame way. One kid says that he'll buy a Lamborghini with his first million, and the guys all laugh and cheer except for Clay, who calls it a "sore subject." James is very sweet with the kids, and his smirk goes away, and maybe he's not so bad.

Jen W. does a total ninja sneak attack on Rebecca, on the balcony outside their suite, where she basically begs clemency because she "greeted everybody." (So?) She starts in again about being "thrown under the bus" and Rebecca's got the scary Joker smile on again. She's so damn intense, I love it. Jen W.'s voice squeaks up the scale and she natters on and on and Rebecca's doing her best impression of Patricia Clarkson in High Art: "Yeah, yeah. …Yeah." Jen W. points out that the only total failure of a station -- besides, um, hers -- was Toral's, and she holds up eight random fingers to show how many times the HDTV froze up. Jen W. confides in us about how Rebecca and Toral's trip to the hospital has made them total BFF (So?) and I'm like, first of all, they have a lot in common and would have been friends anyway, but also, it's Toral. I have no doubt she was there the whole time, but I doubt she was all that helpful. "Go get you a Snickers? Look, I'm an investment banker on Wall Street. I put together multi-million dollar deals...I wouldn't say a vending machine is below me, but it's not something I would generally do. People who went to Wharton generally snack on sevruga and Fiji water," or whatever the hell.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP