Apprentice
Something Old, Something New

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Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Three: Whoring It Up For The Community

George comes in and Clay calls him an old fart, basically, and George tells him to redirect, bluntly but not unkindly. Randal stares, and everyone giggles, and Clay just asks George to get on board with the idea that "old men are set in their ways." George points out that THAT'S THE POINT OF THE WHOLE TASK, but Clay's not hearing him. Randal acknowledges Clay's point, such as it is, and tries to keep moving, and then Clay fucks up: "If you're wrong, we'll deal with it then." It's not just what he's saying, or that he's saying it in front of George, which are two things that are bad enough, but he says it in this schoolmarmish, wheedling way where he does it without looking up from his paper. He's like the mother in every Tennessee Williams play. Randal's like, "Did you actually just say that to me?" And Clay...repeats himself. The whole time, he keeps glancing over at George. I hate Clay.

Josh interviews about this, calling Clay "the biggest bitch on the team," and pointing out how Clay could not take his eyes off George the entire time he was getting all Melissa about everything. Much was made of Josh calling Clay a "bitch," was he being homophobic, would he have said that about somebody else...and I think the answer is yes, because Clay was fully being a little bitch, in a way that you wouldn't consider Markus one, because he kisses ass desperately, but not as a strategy to make everybody else look bad. Especially Randal, whom Josh adores. It's a very specific usage, and one that I agree with here, and one that Chris would have agreed with, because it's a football team usage. "Grow a pair and stop being a bitch." Josh says Clay was being really blatant about "looking for approval" and that Clay was basically saying "when you lose, Randal…" and it's all true. There are lots of shots of Clay looking very much like Tom Lenk, only pissy and not cute.

Then things get gross. The patented Trump Wisdom Title Card this week is "Inspire." Trump tells us the total news of how "leadership is important" and that you have to "inspire your staff." I take a moment to note that shit down in a special steno pad I have for times like this, which on the front I have written in Sharpie "Duh Thoughts For When My Brain Falls Out My Ass." He then demonstrates this Wisdom for us by haranguing some old man about something, then summoning Miss Universe to flirt with the old man. He tells us that people like working for the Trumpanies because "I make it fun." To him, "fun" is hot young ladies that would never fuck you except for your money, not that you can get it up anyway. Fun is trophies. Boobies. Fun is the idea of ass, to guys like Trump, and I don't get it. The guy, Jay, is a lawyer, and he's kind of upset by all this blatant prostitution, and a little confused.

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Apprentice

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