Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 797 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Eight: If There Is No "Try," You're All Screwed

Clay interviews that his strategy is to "get rid of the strong players as fast as possible," but also that he wants his team to win, because he doesn't want to lose. So...his strategy is less a "strategy" in the purest sense of the word, and more of a contradictory set of realities and desires that paint him in the worst possible light. Got it. Alla promises to give him "200\% on this task," and he graciously replies, "That's all I wanted." Then they bond over their common enemy: math.

Meanwhile Excel is meeting to sketch out a few things that don't have to do with anybody's huge, gaping need for approval and constant cosseting. Brian wonders who's seen the movie, and instead of everybody, the answer is: Randal. Who has seen all the movies, just like everybody on earth with the exception of the people we're looking at right now. He interviews himself as a "junkie" and talks about his action figures and "collector's cups and mugs." It's awesome. Randal offers to explain the whole series to them, and I'm sure he'll do a great job of it, actually.

Brian explains to us about how Randal is the obvious choice for PM on this task, but he's exempt, so "we all looked at each other with blank looks on our faces." Now, I think that what this means is, there's no incentive, for any of them, to have Randal as PM. He's 2-0 and exempt besides -- it's a glory thing, but also no matter what happens, he won't be in the endgame Boardroom, so you'd be limiting the possible firees from three (33\%) to two (50\%), which benefits nobody. Marshawn nominates Brian, and he agrees to do it, making clear that he'll need everyone's help "immensely" on the details. I love how Brian's constantly being "destroyed" and having "immense" needs and stuff. So much emotion, in such a small package, tied with such a pretty bow.

The Star Wars music plays over a shot of the Statue of Liberty, which is fuckin' idiotic, and Clay voices us over to the studio to meet with the LucasArts guy, Jim Ward (looks precisely like you think the LucasArts guy would look), and the Best Buy guy, Gary Arnold (looks like a foreign porn director). Clay says they were both "phenomenally" ready to help the team, and it is true: they're both way excited about the whole process of promotion of this DVD. Jim Ward is super-crazy excited about how "Episode III is the last Star Wars movie ever," and "Darth Vader is the world's greatest villain," and "everybody wants to see how Darth Vader came to be." Alla calls them "brilliant" and offers that "the best thing [Capital Edge] could have done is spend as much time as possible with them." Which is a hella weird spontaneous comment, but in the context of this episode, was practically required.

Apprentice

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