Store Wars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Eight: If There Is No "Try," You're All Screwed
What Clay Heard Bill Say: Women Are Insects! They Sap A Man's Will!

What We Heard Bill Say: A Fool And His Money Are Soon Parted
What Clay Heard Bill Say: Trump Hates Everybody But You! Abuse Them And Win His Approval!

What We Heard Bill Say: The Square Of The Hypotenuse Is Equal To The Sum Of The Squares Of The Other Two Sides
What Clay Heard Bill Say: Kill Them, Clay. Kill Them All As They Sleep!

Bill continues to explain a few things about generic situations that never actually happen, and even Alla's getting tired of this, in her weird fake fur.

What Adam Heard Bill Say: I'm Your Real Dad, Son! Come Live With Me, In My Castle, Where There's A Puppy Waiting For You, And Your Selection Of Accounting Software!

Aww. Meanwhile, Brian and Randal are in the kitchen making cookies, and again your sense of perspective goes totally whack. They worry about the Boardroom. Well, Brian does; Randal just worries about Brian. Brian interviews that Randal "could be a big contributor to our loss, because it was his original design," but fusses that "Randal's exempt, so that's not an option." He somehow does this without looking completely ungrateful for Randal's support. Marshawn says she's packed, and Brian replies that he's going to fight for his life, but he's also packed. He and Randal have a meeting in the freezer compartment of the refrigerator where he asks if it's "worth the good fight," and Randal fully scoffs, awesomely, all, "Always! Are you kidding me?"

Randal interviews sweetly about his "concern for Brian in particular, as we go to the Boardroom." In Randal's opinion, Capital Edge won because their ideas were more creative, and because they -- get this -- "definitely hit the mark as far as the expectations of the executives." Like Cap Edge just had this crazy lucky advantage of knowing what the client wanted. I mean, I know he means it's all Brian's fault, but he says it in such a nice way. He admits, though, that the PM bears the "ultimate responsibility" for meeting those expectations. Brian burns the cookies, and says in somewhat of a jocular tone, "I can't even make cookies properly." They laugh, but I die a little bit inside.

Brian interviews that as PM he has a lot of responsibility, but also should be able to rely on his team. He and Rebecca have a hush-hush convo about how Marshawn "just gave up," and Rebecca is so excellent here, because she pretends to have her whole mind focused on something else, only just kinda listening to him, never looking him in the eye. This is awesome because I love it when crazy Rebecca decides she's actually in a noir film, but also because I know for a fact that she's only going to keep up this "Oh, uh-huh?" thing going as long as he says what she wants him to say. "She didn't feel comfortable doing it," right, and then, "And you had like a half hour!" She looks sidelong at him and has a crazy sexy smile as she drawls -- still "not entirely" focused on the conversation -- "I don't know. I don't wanna…" So good. She's so good. I cannot freaking wait until she and Alla go head-to-head for real. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. Remember when 24 was good?

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