Store Wars

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: C+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Eight: If There Is No "Try," You're All Screwed

Carolyn asks whether Rebecca was actually supposed to be presenting, and Brian's relieved, to the degree that he actually says, "Good question." Trump blurts, "Carolyn -- let me just -- Carolyn, to me, that's the main question." She somehow manages to give him a complete "clearly, dildo" face without seeming harsh about it. That's a skill right there. There's like a we're in this together, sir floater on it that makes it okay. Trump screams that he heard Rebecca did an "unbelievable job of presentation, considering she had like one minute to prepare," and Rebecca gets so intense she might cry. Trump asks "Martian" why she didn't present, and things go kind of nuts.

It's ugly, but here are the basics, according to Marshawn: as a communication expert, she was able to ascertain that for this particular task, Brian's "style" was perfectly suited to the task. (Even though Brian, by his own admission, is bad at that.) She threw in the towel two hours before the presentation. (Even though time, the fourth dimension, puts it closer to thirty minutes.) Rebecca requested the responsibility for presenting at the last minute. (Even though everyone there knows she did it out of frustration, and because it was the best possible move to keep her in the game.) Brian is "just saying that" when he says that he assigned Marshawn ownership of the presentation and she dropped the ball. (Even though he's not just saying that, and everyone in the room knows it.) My Lord, this is bad, y'all.

Marshawn, repeat after me: "I lost faith in the task as I saw its crappitude increasing, and didn't want the success to rest on my capable shoulders." This is more painful than watching Clay not explain his bullshit last week, because at least he did that out of ignorance -- she's just being prevented, and letting them freak her out into strange lies.

Carolyn tries again, and we get Episode II of the basics, according to Marshawn: as a believer in her teammates' skills, she wanted Rebecca to have the "opportunity" to show off the presentation skills she's constantly talking about. (Even though it was uncontestedly Rebecca's idea.) Marshawn's presentation skills are vastly better than Rebecca's, but it was more important for Rebecca to "prove herself." (Even though that's the most condescending, crazy thing Marshawn's said yet.) Bill shakes his head and says, "No," audibly, and Carolyn and Trump pursue that line of questioning. Marshawn did not "ask" Rebecca to do the presentation so much as Rebecca volunteered. (Even though that contradicts the words that came out of Marshawn's mouth mere moments ago.)

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