Tarek and his whole bag of bullshit, telling us his "will to succeed is unstoppable," and which we'll find is only matched by his complete inability to do anything properly. A tiny blonde who was number one in her class -- at the University of Florida -- and got an MBA at Harvard, and describes herself as "tough as nails" and willing to "run through a brick wall" to get what she wants, which is apparently both to fool herself into thinking she's "tough as nails" and to memorize the immortal writings of effing Donald Trump and his stupid brick wall metaphors. A totally nasty British guy with lips that assault one's finer sensibilities tells us how he's the "highest achiever in sales, globally" in his company, and that his cat-anus-looking Angelina lips have grossed people out from the Mid-East to Europe to "all across South America." "This is a done deal for me." They are all heading toward the airport; they are all either perfectly lovely or very scary. In Tarek's case, both.
Oh how I have missed this song. Yay! Let's do intros now, in the interest of you giving a tiny bit more of a damn throughout the rest of the recap. Team Gold Rush is composed of Dreamy Famous-Looking Dan; Leslie who looks like British actress Billie Piper and is a Louisiana realtor; Lee, who looks like one of the previous Andy Apprenti plus Adam from last year; the eponymous Summer, a restaurateur who looks like a stripper and/or tanning salon receptionist with crunchy hair; Tarek, the Orlando Bloom look-alike with the Rory Gilmore backstory and about whom this recap will be; Charmaine again, who bounced around the country her entire life taking apparently only jobs that would fit the fifteen tasks they'll be doing (marketing, sales, real estate, consulting, et cetera); Lenny "The Russian" from Jersey who passed his Series 7 and learned English the first two years he was in America; laughing Theresa the psychotherapist, skinny with blonde hair and quite a forehead; and Boring Baller Bryce, who's misshapen in the credits with a boss eye. Those were the hotter ones, and you'll see in a second how that came down.