And the king of that, Donald "Little Blue Pill" Trump himself, is now going to give a practical demonstration of why that sucks. Standing at the top of the jetway, gusty winds blowing his fake hair -- all in one piece -- to and fro, he yells down to the candidates at the top of his lungs that George and Carolyn are two very special people in his life, and acts like he's just as sad that this had to happen on the tarmac as they are. Except he calls the shots, so fuck him. He then commands them to shout their credentials up the jetway at him, screaming why they're important into the careless winds, while he looks on toadishly and without listening. This might be worse than the golf course thing last year: "Tell me why you matter! What? I can't hear you! Scream louder, little trolls!"

Lee is 22, graduated with a B.A. and a 4.0 from Cornell. How cute are they when they tell you their GPA? Stacy is the criminal defense lawyer, who works for the public defense office in New York City. Michael is a mergers and acquisitions consultant. Roxanne graduated from Baylor and her law degree is from the University of Michigan. Summer owns a restaurant in Huntington Beach and a truly terrible case of crabs. Leslie went to the University of Mississippi on a volleyball scholarship, which is fine -- get there any way you can, that's awesome -- except for how inordinately proud she still seems to be about that fact, ten years later. Brent is an insurance defense (like my dad!) and real estate attorney, and "created his own diet" and lost 110 pounds, at which point apparently the diet failed him, but also: I created my own diet just today! It was called The What-A-Burger and Fries Diet, and it was delicious to put it into effect. And then yesterday, I created the Taco Bell for Lunch and Some Homemade Pesto Chicken For Dinner Diet, and that was awesome too! Where's my patent attorney?