Tarek is the "worldwide product marketing manager" for Texas Instruments, and a fucking member of fucking Mensa, "meaning I have an I.Q. in the top two percent of the world." He says this last just like Ana Gasteyer doing Cinder Calhoun, which is cute, but here's a tip. If you're a member of Mensa, keep your trap shut about it. Because it means one very important thing to you, and a whole mess of completely different stuff to everybody else, and that's a bad mix. But also, it's pretty much entirely a way of announcing how intelligent you are to the entire room, which is...not that intelligent. Imagine if, instead of just dropping the Mensa thing in, off-handedly, you looked right into a person's eyes and said, "You would not believe my genius-level I.Q.," or " I made $800,000 last year. And you?" Announcing that you're in Mensa is the exact same thing, and there's no way around that fact. And it stops being about the whole intelligence issue, even the "Don't ever tell anybody your SAT scores if you want to be happy in life" rule, just circles around all those related issues and heads straight for: that is a retardedly rude thing to mention, much less repeat over and over. It's a blustery sign of weakness, frankly, which is the opposite of what one might think. It's not intimidating, it's just a confirmation that your social skills are lacking. Don't do it.

Mini-Quiz For Reading Comprehension: True or False?

1. I am in Mensa.

A. True.
B. False.

Answer Key: FALSE. ALWAYS FALSE. Don't keep reading until you can get this one cold without even thinking about it, smarty-pants.