Apprentice
Summer Of Sam's

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Lesson One: Competence Is Only Skin Deep

Charmaine takes, actually, the smartest possible approach, managing to say all the true things and none of the crazy, in a velvet accent that sounds totally weird and awesome coming out of her face, that it wasn't person's fault, but she can damn sure tell you who she'd want to go home. It's really cool, and basically describes the entire situation precisely. I like Charmaine a lot. Trump pushes that, again, Summer correctly predicted their loss in this task -- and he keeps saying it without the footnote that makes this a point in her favor, instead of just making her look like some weird, overly-tanned Kassandra with AquaNet toxicity -- and my man Dan is pretty awesome too: "Her outspokenness did not present itself until the Boardroom." I believe that, because all I saw was 404 on her face the entire task. Well, that and discount bin Maybelline, in a four-inch layer.

Trump asks Tarek to pick two people -- "Or three. Or one." -- to bring back in. Tarek, now that he can pick three, has the perfect solution for his sickly little nasty ego: everybody he thinks is mean. Summer, Lenny...and Lee. Lee laughs heartily at this, because how sickening can you be? That's just spite. That's all it is. There's nothing to back it up: Lee was great in the sales part of the task, and the whole team knows it. The whole team shivers with the cognitive dissonance of St. Augustine: how can Tarek be so wonderful and all-powerful, and still do something so shitty?

The rest of the team, still confused and smarting from all the doublethink, heads upstairs. I think that Dan is maybe hotter than Tarek; I wouldn't mind if Tarek went home tonight. Those two concepts are not actually related, but they're what I was thinking at the time. Inside the Boardroom, Carolyn says that Tarek actually "led the team fairly well," which is true in its own limited way, but that Summer should have made the calls somehow, and that Lenny was in the blimp, and probably didn't contribute too much. I don't think I've ever been so unimpressed with Carolyn's analysis. George totally steps up to the plate and picks up the slack: "First of all, [Trump] picked him. He didn't volunteer, and that makes it slightly different." He and Carolyn agree that if Summer had done anything with all her intense knowledge of the arcane works of Sam's Club, it might have made the difference.

Back once more! "Lee, you have disdain for Tarek?" Lee admits that he kind of does, now, because everyone on the team said he did "a phenomenal job," and Tarek interrupts him: "...And you told me I did a good job!" Which is a pretty good point to make: On reflection, I've changed my mind -- just like you did. Trump tells him to shut up and let Lee talk, and Summer speaks up: "I heard the conversation, he didn't say that." Oh snap! Tarek stutters. Lee: "I said you did some things well." He turns to Trump: "The second I said maybe you should fire Tarek, he brings me into the Boardroom? It shows dishonesty." Tarek scoffs, and Trump asks whether or not he was being creepy with Lee and told him he was safe. "Yes sir, but that was when I thought I could only bring two people in!" Summer's like, "You still could've, douchebag," which is awesome, and stores up a lot of the good will she's going to need in a few.

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Apprentice

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