Tarek is the "worldwide product marketing manager" for Texas Instruments, and a fucking member of fucking Mensa, "meaning I have an I.Q. in the top two percent of the world." He says this last just like Ana Gasteyer doing Cinder Calhoun, which is cute, but here's a tip. If you're a member of Mensa, keep your trap shut about it. Because it means one very important thing to you, and a whole mess of completely different stuff to everybody else, and that's a bad mix. But also, it's pretty much entirely a way of announcing how intelligent you are to the entire room, which is...not that intelligent. Imagine if, instead of just dropping the Mensa thing in, off-handedly, you looked right into a person's eyes and said, "You would not believe my genius-level I.Q.," or " I made $800,000 last year. And you?" Announcing that you're in Mensa is the exact same thing, and there's no way around that fact. And it stops being about the whole intelligence issue, even the "Don't ever tell anybody your SAT scores if you want to be happy in life" rule, just circles around all those related issues and heads straight for: that is a retardedly rude thing to mention, much less repeat over and over. It's a blustery sign of weakness, frankly, which is the opposite of what one might think. It's not intimidating, it's just a confirmation that your social skills are lacking. Don't do it.
Mini-Quiz For Reading Comprehension: True or False?
1. I am in Mensa.
Answer Key: FALSE. ALWAYS FALSE. Don't keep reading until you can get this one cold without even thinking about it, smarty-pants.
Charmaine is the area manager for "a Fortune 500 company." Andrea's patchouli-scented companies have a combined worth of $10 million. Bryce started his own construction company three years ago. Theresa currently owns two...something unimportant, because we cut to Lenny, who "ran a multimillion-dollar company back in Russia." Pepi went to Columbia and is an attorney, Allie has a Harvard MBA, Tammy has a "major" investment firm in Beverly Hills, Dan is the father of two boys, and Sean was valedictorian at Southampton University, a distinction memorably compared by British forum poster quaintirene to "Admiral of the Swiss Navy." All of this is going on in the force-ten winds of the outdoors. Even though they were just stuffed into the stupid plane a second ago. Why?
Trump: "Tell you what I'm gonna do." Due to his "great respect for Mensa," which obviously proves that Tarek has a "bigger I.Q. than anybody here, other than" Trump, says Trump, which is a house of bullshit cards built on the edge of a bullshit teacup in a bullshit house sliding down the side of bullshit Pompeii, Tarek is one PM. And since Allie went to Harvard, which is "second only to Wharton," where of course Trump went, if you didn't know, she's the other. So their election to PM for the first task is basically the result of Trump masturbating. Cool!