Summer Of Sam's

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Lesson One: Competence Is Only Skin Deep

Trump's Weekly Wisdom: "Change The Team!" This has nothing to do with the episode, but basically, Trump is of the opinion that you always have to know "when it's time to pull somebody" and time "to change the squad." You don't want them to fail, because your team will go down with them. "Pull that person before they fail." Which is bad advice, most of the time, and not so much "management" as "refusal to manage," but especially dumb here: Yeah, Summer's an asshole, but her mistake was in doing nothing. Which, if you benched her, she'd still be doing. And frankly, if anybody would look away from the hypnotic freaky power of Tarek long enough to listen to her or Lee, this wouldn't have been an issue in the first place. "You didn't do enough to publicize the fact that nothing in particular was happening!" is not a valid critique. So my feeling is that the responsibility for this loss goes to Tarek anyway, for having no game plan whatsoever beyond what Trump gave them: a Sam's Club and a blimp. Now, if we're talking about Brent, I agree more, but it's still wrong, because he's not actively ruining anything, and is providing about four different needed contributions by contributing none at all. So whatever. Not to mention the fact that two team members are going to end up in the blimps anyway, which is an automatic bench, so it's not exactly revelatory to tell us about it, this week. "If only they had known to Change The Team, they might have...oh, that was built in to the task? What am I yelling about, then? You're fired!"

Brent bitches about how putting him in the blimp today is a "waste" of his "talents" and he is "very upset about it," because he's not a "troublemaker" and -- yes, still -- he "started the brainstorming that came up with that idea." Which: there is nowhere else he should be, because if his freaky aggressive pointlessness in the group meeting is any indication, he'd probably cause anyone he approached to cancel their membership. "No, honey, they've got sweaty crazy people working there now. I can't do it anymore. No bulk goods are worth that." So he complains and bitches and it's like, he's like a human brownout. Like there's so anger and disgust and whatever, but it just doesn't come through at all. Like in ten years his foundation's going to be cracked and there will be spiders and finally somebody's going to say, "No wonder there was no water pressure; this pipe has been leaking into a standing puddle for ten years." You know? Lots of hustle, not a lot of energy. "So at this point, I've kept my mouth shut [HUGE FUCKING LIE] and I hope we win the task but...I am a true. Team. Player. But I definitely am not happy about it." Because to really "give his all," I guess, he requires that everyone follow his horrible suggestions to a letter, or else he's being "obstructed" by the shallow volleyball players of his high school years. Fuck that. You're thirty years old and yet have not noticed that other people have rational thoughts as well, and thus might be able to teach you a little something. Go join Mensa, ya douchebag.

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