Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 537 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Degradation with a crisp candy shell

Previously on Pop Fizzle: Well, first, Dr. Atkins was born. Okay, that's going back too far. More recently, Pepsi was introducing Pepsi Edge, and had decided that the best way to promote it would be a stunt bottle designed by amateurs. Kelly and his team came up with a bottle with a hole in it, while Andy and his team came up with something that looked like it was invented to demonstrate the word "bloat." Kelly won and yelled, "Check the box!", which caused him to lose any hope of ever being cool, ever again, in his entire life. In the Boardroom, Sandy and Jen were all, "YIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!," and Andy was all, "But -- but -- but -- but --," and they were all, "YIPYIPYIPYIPYIP!", and he was all, "Muh -- fuh -- buh -- ", and then Trump noticed that Andy was having his ass verbally kicked by a couple of girls and fired his ass. Because what kind of a Trump viceroy-in-training can't stick up for himself? Also, this way, Trump gets to keep the girls. What's not to like about that solution? We are down to the final five. Who will be fired tonight, and will it be for partial nudity?

Credits. I like how Chris's face is shown over the words "out of their minds."

The moon. The skyline porn. Manhole, hee hee. We slide up to the ACWDW, where Kevin is asking Kelly what he's guessing as far as who's coming back. Kelly talks about how irritating Jen is, and Kevin puts in that she doesn't contribute much to a team. He generously allows that it isn't quite that she contributes nothing, it's just that it isn't much. Kelly muses about which two of the Mosaicians will come back, and Kevin interviews that he thinks Jen has little chance of actually winning, because "the powers that be are on to her and realize that she's not bringing as much to the table as everybody else is." Kevin is the King of Wishful Thinking. Kelly, Kevin, and Ivana share a toast with some red wine, the better to forget that their fates lie in the hands of a man who has hair like a ventriloquist's dummy. The door opens, and Sandy and Jen return. Ivana passes the news via whisper to Kelly, and Kelly passes it to Kevin. Apex pretends to be happy about the returning pair (or pairs, I guess), but they're not. Kevin asks if the Boardroom was "crazy," and Jen says, all smug and secretive, "You know. This and that." It won't help Jen's image to admit that Andy got fired because she and Sandy were screeching at each other and Trump couldn't believe Andy didn't get them to stop, after all. Ivana asks whether Andy was fired because the suck bottle was his idea, and Jen responds condescendingly that she just thinks the other team should understand that she wouldn't want to talk about it. This is despite the fact that it's been talked about every other week thus far, and Jen herself has crowed and gloated over things that have happened in the Boardroom repeatedly when it benefited her. This sudden routine, like What Happens In The Boardroom Stays In The Boardroom, You Classless Buffoons, is...a load of hooey.

Apprentice

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