Sweet & Lowdown

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Degradation with a crisp candy shell

Now, Trump gets to the heart of the matter, saying to Ivana that she apparently "flashed a group of people." "Look," Ivana says impatiently, "this --" "No, no, did that happen?" Trump asks. "It happened, but it happened for a reason." "Why?" Trump asks. Ivana starts to explain about the dropping inventory and the discovery of the higher Mosaic price, but Trump cuts her off again by asking her what she actually did. "You ripped down your pants?" "I was wearing a bikini," she lies. Come on, now. She was wearing underwear. That was not a bikini. "And let's not blow this out of proportion," she lectures. "I was wearing bikini shorts. I wear --" "We haven't said anything yet," Carolyn says calmly, pointing out that Ivana is on the defensive when she hasn't even been attacked. Ivana stammers that she's "really defensive about this," in case you can't tell, and Trump says he wants to hear why she did it. "It was a gimmick," she says. "It was a gimmick just like girls --" "Did it work?" Trump asks her. "It did work," she says nervously. "I sold a candy bar for twenty bucks." George looks up. "You sold a candy bar for twenty dollars?" he asks, not hitting the point too hard. Ivana sighs with impatience. "Look," she says grumpily, and this gets her in trouble again. "I would stop addressing him by 'Look,'" Carolyn says. "It's not really professional." But either Trump or George mutters in the background that he doesn't even care. Oh, little burn on Carolyn. Even though I agree with her. Ivana apologizes for being snotty as Trump asks her who came up with the idea of showing her underwear. "It was my idea," she says. "It was my decision." "Are you happy about it?" he asks. She says that looking back, maybe not. But -- and here comes what they absolutely all say, so say it with her -- it seemed like a good idea at the time, because they needed to raise the price. Playing off what George said, Carolyn says, "But you weren't selling a candy bar. Wouldn't you agree? You were not selling a candy bar?"

And...exactly. This is why Ivana was so much more skeevy than anything Jen and Sandy were anywhere near doing, and it's why the women last year giving out kisses and their phone numbers was so off-putting. When you wear a sexy outfit to sell a car, or a product, or whatever, you are using sex to sell, but in a way that doesn't make the sex the commodity, in the sense that you don't get any extra sex by paying for it. A guy could buy a chocolate bar or not buy a chocolate bar, and he wouldn't see any more cleavage from Jen or Sandy, or any more heels, or any more of their hair. But to see Ivana's underwear, you had to pay extra. And that's when, as Carolyn said, you're not selling the product -- you're selling the sex. And what's extra-bad about Ivana's example is that her pulling down her skirt isn't even sexy. It's really just humiliating. Offering money to someone to humiliate yourself is not only kind of stupid (which is why it didn't work very well), but it's gross. What kind of a guy gets off on a woman taking off her skirt in broad daylight on Wall Street? Is that sexy? Or is it really just a guy who gets off on women who will do anything for twenty bucks? Because I kind of think it's the second one. To some degree, it's just paying money to see somebody act like an idiot, but there's a whole different quality to it that makes me cringe.

Trump sends them all outside to wait while he confers with George and Carolyn. They all leave. Asked for his opinion, George says all three are pretty weak, but he actually weirdly defends Ivana for at least doing something, rather than just standing around like the other two. Carolyn looks horrified, which is exactly how I feel. Asked for her thoughts, she says that she doesn't at all agree with Ivana's choice. "A hundred percent, I can't agree," she says. "Oh, you mean stripping?" Trump asks. "Yeah. That's horrendous," Carolyn says, seemingly shocked that either Trump or George would fail to see that you don't hire a person to run a business who has that kind of bad judgment. Trump tries to split the hair of whether Ivana really stripped, but Carolyn points out that probably either way, she doesn't look like great executive material. Trump brings them back in.

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