Apprentice
Sweet & Lowdown

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Degradation with a crisp candy shell

Boardroom. The teams walk in to receive their results, and just to twist the knife a little, Sandy and Jen have dressed alike again, this time in mint green tops and black pants. Trump enters. He first asks George how Apex did. They sold 323 bars for a total profit of $560.75. Carolyn reports that Mosaic sold 290 bars for a total profit of $1023.11. Sandy and Jen hug. Trump tells them how impressive it is, and he also feels compelled to comment that they "look like sisters." Because he so thinks that's hot, not that this is the way he explains it. He comments on how much they hated each other, like, two days ago, and here we are. "We're competitive and we want to win together," Sandy says diplomatically. He then tells them that he thinks the reward they're getting is awesome. They'll be taking a jet to Chicago to meet with Boyfriend Bill, as it turns out. They might as well -- I don't think he's exactly short of free time. Trump promises that Boyfriend Bill will show them around and then give them lots of tips on how to win and how, if they do win, to pretend that working for Donald Trump is really fun. He reminds Apex that they'll be back in the Boardroom, where either Ivana or Kevin will be fired.

Chicago. Jen announces that she's never been to Chicago before. And what better way to discover it than through the eyes of Boyfriend Bill? Well, exactly. That's certainly my position. The two of them stroll into what they would like us to believe is Boyfriend Bill's cavernous office, where he greets them with handshakes and a congratulatory "Final four, huh?" What he is thinking is, "Slim pickings this season, huh?" He shows Jen and Sandy a seven-foot model of the tower that's being built. He then brings them into the model unit. Certainly are a lot of distracting lights in the kitchen. It would be like making breakfast in Vegas. Like, out on the sidewalk. "You guys want to sit down and...strategize?" he asks them. Did he just offer to strategize with them? Man, it's like they're trying to break my heart. Incidentally, what is up with Boyfriend Bill's dark suit and that stupid tie with the tiny red check on it? Ew. It looks like a picnic napkin. Jen says that given the surroundings, it was "easy to start picturing victory." Well, sure. Boyfriend Bill starts talking them about "heart" (Jen: "Wha?") and "passion" (Sandy: "Huh?") and how it's important to forget all your past grievances against people and so forth. Of course, he never worked with Jen. Oh, and he says "swing for the fences," so he is apparently a graduate of the Trump/Deutsch School of Batting Cage Hyperbole, unsurprisingly.

Sandy mentions that she, like Bill, is an uneducated buffoon. How did Bill handle going up against Kwame the Harvard Man? Bill acknowledges that Sandy and Jen are opposites in this regard, just as he feels he and Kwame were. Although Bill did have a college degree, as I recall, he just didn't have grad school. Sandy is more the Troy than the Boyfriend Bill, but I get his point. He says that, no offense to Jen, he thinks you can get to the same spot in a variety of ways, because running a bridal shop or a law office gives you "fundamentals" to run any business. Sandy interviews about all her similarities to Bill, and how this just emphasized that she has "a huge shot at this." He also advises them not to try to bring each other down in the Boardroom, but to work on selling their own accomplishments and value. Jen once again interviews about the greatness of meeting Boyfriend Bill at "the last mile marker." Where he failed, unfortunately, to clothesline her. "It was the best reward of all," she says. And then they leave, and he hugs them. Feh. Don't hug them, Boyfriend Bill!

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Apprentice

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