Apprentice
Take Me Out To The Boardroom

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Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Six: Don't Swing When You're Selling

She addresses Josh and he waves cutely (and like a total winner!), and then it gets even better as Josh gets the same order -- send three total losers over to be with Alla, Felisha, and Randal so that Randal can just be like, "Mr. Trump, look at what I'm dealing with. I win, right?" Josh picks Clay -- I think still metonymically smarting from the time Clay got weird with Randal, and all it implies -- then Adam, who is five and hasn't done a thing I can think of -- except for singing on two separate occasions, both of which I've blocked out -- and of course Markus. Markus doesn't even try to be scandalized by this, but Clay and Adam are.

So thus spake the new Excel: Jenthura, the unstoppable and objectively amazing PM Josh, burn-a-hole-through-you-with-my-mind-powers Rebecca, you-don't-need-to-know-what-I-think-about-you-but-I'm-right Marshawn, big-boobs-and-a-charming-smile Mark, big-dimples-and-a-squicky-smile James, and Brian, who is hot and smart and good at this, standing with a Martimmy behind Josh's big old head. And I know that things are moving fast, but I'd like to point out, in terms of what's going to happen here, that Marshawn and Rebecca on crutches are also standing. Meanwhile, Alla's team Capital Edge is her and Felisha, a laughing-with-despair Randal, and Clay and Markus. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to keep this straight, but now it's just hilarious. Ouch, Alla. Sorry you're totally going home.

Carolyn asks what they think, and Josh just giggles like a kid on Christmas -- especially since Excel did okay even without the Magic of Randal last week, and now he's got Marshawn in exchange for Clay and Markus, which is so awesome that Rebecca is just the angel on top of the tree -- while Alla is fakely happy about it. Seeing the big group of tools scattered around her competence and finery is kind of tough to take. Dude, I would have fired her ass just for getting rid of Marshawn, making this the shortest episode of this show ever. Felisha? Really? The Bethenny of this show? Over Marshawn? And you got Markus? The Dawn of this show? Over Marshawn? You're cobra'd so fast, babe. Clay looks super-excited about what a great team he is on now, and I can't tell if he's faking, but imagining the bullying he's had to put up with, maybe he's just thinking he'll finally get to put that whole "I'm gay so ladies love me" thing to the test, which...is the sadness of Clay, but it's nice to see him so happy.

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Apprentice

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