Apprentice

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Task: Pedigree Community Awareness Ad

Omarosa and Carol Alt reenter the suite, where both teams are waiting. Omarosa talks about leaving it in the boardroom, and Piers Morgan says he doesn't think so. They saw it all on the monitor, you recall. Omarosa jumps all over him in that quiet/bitchy way of hers, turning the glass of champagne in his hand into an indicator of full-blown alcoholism. Which, if he's not an alcoholic now, prolonged exposure to Omarosa certainly puts him at risk.

After the credits, Stephen Baldwin has someone drag his cancer-survivor mom over to Trump Tower so he can give her the check for 69 grand and change. Suck on that, Alec.

Trump, Ivanka, a marketing guy named Terry from Macy's, and a dude named Rob from the Pedigree pet food company meet the assembled Apprenti in the Trump Tower lobby to give them their assignment. Which is this. The teams will make 30-second TV spots for the Pedigree Pet Adoption drive, with the guy from Pedigree judging and with Donald, Ivanka, and Terry from Macy's overseeing. Trump tells them to pick their PMs on the spot, acting like this is such an exciting departure from standard procedure. The women of Empresario pick Nely Galan, and the men of Hydra pick Gene Simmons. Gene interviews that he'll fire anyone, including Trump himself. Good luck with that. Trump says that the winning PM gets $20,000 for his or her charity. That's all? That's, like, four hot dogs' worth.

With 12 hours to go, Nely starts things out by leading a little meditation session, which Omarosa ostentatiously sits out. Then they go meet with the client, Rob from Pedigree. He says that what he's really looking for is emotional stories about animals. Ooh, how about one about some dogs and cats crossing the country to reunite with their humans? I love those.

Gene, on the other hand, has decided to go straight to the production studio rather than waste any time on preplanning, let alone meditation. The guys start brainstorming about concepts, and Stephen draws on his 20-year career "in film" to define his vision of Lennox Lewis holding a puppy. He asks Gene, as PM, who the director is, and Gene taps Stephen for the job. They're still talking logistics when Ivanka enters, looking like a million bucks in a way that immediately throws horndog Gene off-task. When she's unimpressed with the way he gets his schwerve on, he grows impatient and basically asks her to leave. But then he stops her, making a gross comment about Ivanka being "a female of the species" and whether that means she's going to be reporting back to Empresario. Ivanka, irritated, tells Gene she has no plans to do so, and tells us that that wasn't such a smart comment on Gene's part. I think we may have discovered Gene's Achilles heel, and it's in his pants.

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Apprentice

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