Apprentice
The Final Battle

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Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Fourteen: Accountability Is A Choice

At the caterer's tiny office, Sean goes mad with the whole showy "watch me pull out your chair" creepiness, which is just another flavor of the "I'll starve myself until I get hungry" propaganda that means less than nothing except that your mom was scary. Tammy encourages this behavior by remarking on what a gentleman he is, which is the reason he did it, which is the opposite of being a gentleman, and is stupid. As Tammy conducts the meeting with the caterer, Sean stares at her creepily with lots of teeth and no thoughts. Meanwhile, Andrea discusses the car situation with Pontiac Hottie #3, and there is product placement I'm not recapping, and then Andrea pretends to find the car "sexy," or maybe she actually does, I don't know, I'm caught in the horns of that dilemma with Sean/Tammy as well, and I can't figure any of this out. Sean smiles creepily at the side of Tammy's face some more, and interviews that "love" could very well be blooming at this very moment. He mumbles around and says some dumb smarmy shit about how he'd "be in there like swimwear" if he had "the opportunity." Maybe I'm overthinking this. I think maybe he's just a virgin. He's acting like a virgin. Why didn't I just call it that way originally instead of inventing a whole eighth-sex explanation for him? Because it is mind-blowing. Andrea also gets Pontiac to agree to raffling off a couple of cars. Cutie's like, "That's a lot, but it's a noble cause, so okay." Tarek interviews that the guy probably thought one of them was the PM, because Sean's off in la-la land with Tammy doing stupid shit, and how you should be meeting your gigantic sponsor and "not doing the in-house catering." Sean and Lee, man. These are the Final Two!

Voting is closed on the phone bank stuff this week. Who has the best team? Lee by 63%. That is...an untruth. I think that America was fooled and thought that it was like the other weeks, when the question was: "Who is the biggest asshat?" I have to believe that.

Someone falls down on the ice at Chelsea Piers, sliding in toward the camera. Is this foreshadowing? I don't know who should win. I want them both to lose, because they are both fucking up for no reason. But I guess Lee's fucking up more. I think that the mix of personalities last year warped me, because it was my first year really watching and thinking about and talking about the show every week, as opposed to catching it when I could. But that was so...grand. Especially in retrospect. Carolyn sits watching Team Lee, wearing a Burberry scarf. Oh, Carolyn. Well, once you own something you should wear it, because you're above that stuff. Except for fur. The saddest thing about fur is that you owned it before we figured out that that was vile, and now you can't even use it. That isn't...well, the second worst thing, I guess. I just hate the inefficiency of holding onto stuff you can't wear anymore. Lee interviews that he frankly doesn't "need to be micromanaging the program," checking yet one more thing off on the list of his responsibilities that are not his responsibility. I have yet to figure out what it is that he actually is doing. Him too, I figure. He whines to Carolyn about how his duties are so "extensive," and that he has to deal with celebrities, and it's driving him mad. Carolyn is, of course, horrified. She calls him "laid back," which is like the worst thing Carolyn could ever call you, and says he's not demonstrating good leadership, and that he's under the impression that the event will somehow run itself. Exactly. For some reason, my intuition tells me that this list of his incredible fuck-uppery and being in over his head is going to flip around next week, and he's going to come off golden for some reason.

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Apprentice

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