The Final Battle

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Fourteen: Accountability Is A Choice

Dan tries desperately to get away from Brent, with the full-on crazy eyes of someone who's in a room with a rabid animal, as Brent yells at him about nothing. Finally, Sean announces his team: Tammy, Tarek and Andrea. That is a good team. Dan is sad. I'm sad, because no more Dan, but that's a good team. He then hands things over to his "nemesis," with all the drama, and Lee babbles for awhile. He admits to choosing Lenny, because Lenny "might die" to see him be the Apprentice. Not a valid reason. Then: Pepi and Roxanne, for no reason at all. Everybody stares. Brent looks fucking clueless as usual. There are lots of hugs and Lee interviews a whole lot more of that "people who genuinely care about me" stuff. I wish Lenny would explain to him that this is not material. He then says something very hilarious about how "smart people might want to see me fail," so he instead "chose people that want to see me win." That's funny. Pepi and Lenny and Roxanne are smart, but that's funny because of his cluelessness. Sean and Tammy talk about how Lenny is in charge of Lee's life, and so there's really no PM. Sean interviews that he's "confused" by Lee's choices. I'm "confused" about how you could mistake them for Lee's choices. Sean gets all intense on Tammy about how it's stupid, and then interviews really fake intensely and awkwardly and grossly about who the hell is Pepi, a running theme. It's valid, but he says it in this eight-year-old fake-agog way that makes me want to cough up blood.

Next morning, the phone rings, and Rhona flirts with Sean some more. Everybody gets ready: Roxanne brushes her teeth, Pepi gets pretty...and Sean plays with the place settings some more. Why? He interviews that you must "surround yourself with the very best people." Which he has done. I have no rooting in me, but I guess at this point I vote Sean, because as annoying and smarmy and inauthentic as he is, he didn't hand the whole thing over the second he hit Go, like Lee. Sean brings Tammy coffee and calls her "baby" and then lurks around and watches Tarek in the bathroom. Tammy's like, "Great coffee." He interviews that he wants "the job" and "the girl" and ... whatever, it's tiring. This movie in his head is not the actual thing. Maybe Trump will fire both of them next week and be like, "I still kinda want Rebecca." Tammy looks around for her earring, and Sean makes a weird, lame joke about how she left it in his bed, and he's so far off her radar that she actually needs the joke explained to her, and she just fake-laughs exhaustedly.

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