The Final Battle

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Fourteen: Accountability Is A Choice

The teams meet Trump and the Viceroys in the Boardroom. Trump stares at all of them for a good long time, greets some of the team members, and then says the word "Wow" a bunch of times. Carolyn grins secretively. Trump strokes them about how there were a million applicants, and now there are the Final Two, and that's awesome. He tells the other six people that there were "no losers" and they thank him for lying to their faces. Lee explains to Trump that his team feels "passionately" about him becoming the Apprentice. Which makes more sense than the original bullshit way he kept saying that. Lenny gets creepy and stupid about how he wants Lee to win with all his heart, and that he wants to bury Sean's team "so deep" they won't be found for twenty years. I remember back at the beginning of the season I was like, "Trainwrecks at the beginning, awesomeness at the end of the season. I love this show because at the end, you have adult people who are very good at their jobs, fighting in a civil manner to be the best." That makes me sad to think about now, even though I believed it at the time. Who could have predicted this? Sean explains Team Sean, and it's awesome, because he's right: "Sales, Marketing, Operations..." He calls it a "dream team." Tammy ambiguity aside -- which is on Sean solely, I don't have a problem with Tammy qua Tammy being here -- I want to give Sean yet more props. Not v. Lee, but v. Lenny. Once Lenny was the PM of Team Lee, it was up to him to create the best team, and Sean has bested him on that field, and I salute that. Lee's all, "I have the best team possible," but leaves off the unspoken "...or so Lenny tells me, and won't explain why."

I don't know that there's a recap on this site in which I've not managed to mention my hatred of the Barenaked Ladies and their so-called "music." Keep that in mind. So the task is this: Manage "all business, creative, and logistical aspects of two enormous charity events," in partnership with Pontiac and SLS Speakers. One side is a Barenaked Ladies concert at the Trump Taj Mahal to benefit the World Wildlife Foundation, the other is a celebrity hockey game at Chelsea Piers, to benefit Denis Leary's firefighter foundation. They both sound really fun, actually. I liked the comedy club thing last year, because I like events and color-coordinated purple napkins. Trump goes on and on about how wonderful firefighters are and how he'd be lousy at it because he's not brave, and then kind of aggressively forces George to admit that he too is unbrave, but that he's "brave with his mouth." He's hundreds of years old. If I saw sweet old George trying to enter a burning building, I'd knock his ass out. "Absolutely, that's key!" says George to all this "good-natured ribbing" out of nowhere that he's some kind of a weak old pussy of a man. I don't get Trump at all.

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