Ironically enough, it's not that interesting. James hops on the Surya train of how what really matters is how much film they tape (tape they film?) and not whether any of it is worthwhile or whether the quality of it ever rises above "mildly embarrassing." They took "a ton" of tickled takes -- to create "that drama effect" -- he says proudly. He's such a fucking tool, you guys. I don't know how you end up like this. It started slow and subtle and he's just gotten more ridiculous every week. Just like every winner of this show, except for Randal, whose grandma died instead. Stefani's finally like: "We gotta fuckin' bounce, Scorsese." James gets uppity with her about how actually, they're almost done, and she presents it back to him on a lovely platter of STFU: "Um, actually, we're not. We still have a whole other set to get shots on? The living room? Where the crime took place?" She interviews that, in case we haven't yet figured it out, they're on a deadline, and that without a film crew -- who is now leaving in 45 minutes -- they won't be able to get the footage they need in order to film a coherent story, and then they're screwed. Now, I have seen the final product, and trust me. Why do none of them understand the difference between quality and quantity? Or quantity and lack, for that matter? They're so far in over their heads with this, all of them, and it's a stupid task anyhow, AND they already did this on a bigger scale, AND it wasn't this shitty... whatever. Whatever, this show sucks. So James keeps cutting, cutting, cutting, every second he's yelling "Cut!" and Stefani's very, very pretty. And very, very scared.
Meanwhile, Team Frank and Nicole are in an editing bay, or rather, Nicole is in the editing bay and Frank is crouched on the coffee table, hooting and laughing like a baboon at the hilarious homeless guy, with his stinky self. Nicole interviews excitedly about how much fun it is to take a bunch of material and then edit it down to make a story. Which last week showed in excruciating detail is not something that Frank understands. Last week was like a whole novel about how Frank's not feeling that concept, because he has low standards for excellence, plus his face looks like that. So you can kind of see where this is going. Frank gets itchy because Nicole's appearing to be in charge for a second, for the very strange reason that she is in charge for a second, because she actually knows what she is doing, to a certain extent. (And I mean, the resulting commercial is terrible, but it's not Nicole's job to make commercials, so whatever. Frankly, that's one more reason this task sucks; at least last year there was a tenuous connection to the kind of work an Apprentice can expect, but you want the final task to have something to do with something.) At the least we can say conservatively Nicole knows 859% more about this, and most things, than Frankie Suits. Which he cannot be having, so he keeps trying to take over and shout instructions at the editing fellow, and whatever stupid suggestion he makes, Nicole's like, "No, because this and that and this." Valid things, smart things -- where has Nicole been hiding? Why hide that pretty face behind all that hair, you know? Why'd the show give her personality those unflattering bangs?













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