Apprentice
Apprentice

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Jacob Clifton: A | 592 USERS: B-
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Lesson Thirteen: Stinky Bums Are Definitely Funny

Trump asks the execs how Stefani and James did, and they are very encouraging about them. James was "terrific," he did most of the directing of the awful acting, and "made the actors feel great" about the shitty job they were doing, and that's in a way very good, because it's good to keep your team motivated and feeling appreciated, even when they're doing an amateurish, lackluster job, I guess. The execs and Trump agree that James has "a lot of energy," which is the only thing Trump knows about James, because his skills are in that indefinable creative place where Tim and Nicole's expertise also lies, if you'll remember. I still have no idea what James's skills are, beyond being nebulous and faintly irritating. Stefani was, however, "behind the scenes," "running the show" and keeping James on track with timelines.

Ivanka: "Interesting."
Execs: "No, like this: Innnnnteresting."

They call it an interesting dynamic, working as a team to get the best results. Somewhere Randal Pinkett is like, "Don't say another fucking word." Trump calls her a "sleeper" and very smart. About Nicole and Frank, everyone's a lot less verbose -- making up for the vast cosmic imbalance created by these recaps, which to say the least do not scrimp on talking about Nicole and Frank. The execs note Nicole's "energy" and "enthusiasm," and everyone nods forcefully about how smart Nicole is. A lot smarter than she lets herself be, is the only problem I've ever had there. Trump says she's got a "great way" about her, and they agree with that too. I'm so confused I don't even know anymore. They explain that because they were only at the shoot and not the editing, and then Frank did the shitty presentation off his hand at the movie theatre, Nicole gave the illusion of being less than fully engaged. Which kind of pisses me off, because I worry that that is going to come up in the boardroom next week, but more than that: we never got to see her working either, until this week, so it's a simple and easy mistake to make, but while with the execs that's not really anybody's fault, for us as viewers we have been categorically denied every week knowing anything about what makes her a good businesswoman, and that's got an agenda behind it.

Apprentice

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