Now, he threatens, there's going to be something different. Isn't that so scary? Because the show and this season have been so consistent up to this point? Like how he constantly lies about what's going to happen and then five people randomly get fired, or like last week, or this shit right here with this being the final task. He tells them to go to the mansion and pack: "Your bags and gear and dresses and clothing." (Sometimes I love him.) Then... they go home. He won't see the four of them again until "next week," which for us really is "next week," where in front of a live audience he will humiliate them and dick around for an hour, without even... there won't be task footage. No rained-out cliffhanger, nothing. Just Trump, live, in front of all two people still watching this show. Doing whatever the fuck he wants. For an hour.

The show kind of queasily reverses all the storylines it busily set up over the last forty minutes as the candidates wave to the sweetly smiling Ivanka and take off, hugging and squealing and picking each other up off the ground and doing all that Arrow stuff they do. Frank says "What a feeling" approximately six times. Stefani packs one hundred bags and Frank, itchy and excited, gads around bugging her about it. "How much clothes do you have?!" She's like, "Yes, Frankie. I've got a lot of clothes." It's adorable. He's like literally hopping from foot to foot while everybody else is getting it together. "How much clothes do you have?" I couldn't make that shit up.