Apprentice
The Final Showdown

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Twelve: The Customer Is Always "Right"

Quick Quiz! Seriously, now. You're the least graphically-savvy member of a four-person team, whose entire problem on the show was a demonstrated inability to make anything look right. One assumes that this extends to fabulous party-planning. Your flustered PM, for reasons no one will ever understand, tells you to drop what you're doing -- a thing you're good at, which is charming Good Old Boys like yourself -- and come on down to Party City. Multiple choice:

A: That sounds great, but I've already moved the meeting twice and I think I've almost got this worked out.
B: Why don't you let Marshawn and Josh worry about that, and stay here and do something, you know, productive with your time?
C: See if any of this rings a bell: "Green With Envy"? "The Rebirth of Small-I Italian Intimidation"? "Jean Genie The Dairy Queenie With A Little Weenie"? Do you really want me there contributing to the overall effect?
D: Reach deep into your imagination drawer and tell me what the fuck I'd be doing at the party store, I mean really draw me a picture, because I don't think you've thought this through; I think you're feeling overwhelmed and your first impulse is to circle the wagons, which is actually the management equivalent of the fetal position, and a sign you need to take a nap and let us shoulder the burden for an hour or two.

Answer Key: Trick question! They're all different ways of saying the same thing!

James, Chris, and Toral are meanwhile making the whole thing come together for the comedy benefit, and doing a great job, and Chris continues to lead the cheering: "We're going to make it happen!" Yeah, diva! Get it! And no, I'm not letting this go! You basically said "fag" on TV, douchebag. And actually, that's not the part I hate, the part I hate is that you don't even have a problem with that, because at least now people have heard you almost say "fag" on TV, so it's like a secret code to the ladies and the fellas that you're totally straight, not at all gay, even as you blossom before their eyes into some pretty outstanding gayness, and that's really immature -- if you were actually secure in your sexuality, you'd be doing this "glitter and shimmer" shit with a straight face, and it wouldn't be a question, and you wouldn't have to wink and nudge the camera the whole time like a fucking sketcher. I mean, it's not a deal-breaker, for me personally, because gender and sexuality is advanced jelly and lots of guys are ridiculous about it, so it's like completely writing people off for their religious quirks or eating habits or something, so I still like Chris just fine; it's just the equivalent of noticing that Kristi's kind of an asshole or that Alla might actually be a bitch. I mean, the fact that it's concentrated on him -- like, he didn't say, "James is being kind of a fag" or anything, he was talking about himself -- kind of makes that clear, doesn't it? Anyway. Dear Chris: Trust me, you are not gay. Please stop being weird and offensive about it.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15Next

Apprentice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP