Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A- | 500 USERS: C+
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The dangers of little black dresses

We land back in S5, where Jennifer C. is explaining that, in performing well in tasks, the team has had a theme -- "simple creative thinking." Which is easy to fake when you're kind of stupid and desperate, I find. In fact, fortunes have been won and lost on the tiny margin between "simple creative thinking" and "talking out of your ass." Jennifer M. explains that they picked their PM by drawing names out of a hat, and rather fatefully, the "winner" was Jenn C. As Jenn C. tries to run the meeting all petty-tyrant, with her "I am adamant" and so forth, Stacy is waggling her hand, like, "Call on me! Call on me!" They seem to be arguing over what kind of food to serve, which makes no sense if they were given a chef, but mine is not to reason why. Mine is but to...well, weep openly for my kind, I suppose. Jenn C. is determined to go with "Asian fusion," while Stacy favors Italian. "It's Asian fusion, period, executive decision," Jenn C. says, as the music descends along a "boop-boop-boop-boop-boop" Track of Amusingly Inauspicious Beginnings. It's so sad when the music guy is mocking you. Stacy leans forward, lecturing about how they need to "establish [them]selves quickly," and then we see Jenn C. interview that Stacy is "one of the most irritating people [she has] maybe ever met." And I agree. Although it kind of makes me want to offer some introductions, along the lines of, "Jenn, yourself. Yourself, Jenn."

Apprentice

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