Apprentice
The Last Supper

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
The dangers of little black dresses
Previously on Vanilla Mint Left Me Crestfallen: Asked to create toothpaste "buzz," Mosaic capitalized on the age-old connection between juggling and fresh breath, while Apex invited Mike Pi-yowza to rinse and spit in Union Square. And after all, there's nothing that distinguishes professional athletes like their naturally perfect teeth, which is why you never see hockey players getting dental work. Jennifer C. thought Mike Pi-yowza was "just flawless." He thought she was just okay. While the Apex event was buzzier, it was also about $5000 over budget, so the women found themselves heading to the Boardroom again. In the great "The Buck Stops Here Briefly, But Then I Quickly Toss It Over There" tradition of the team, the failure was primarily the fault of Elizabeth, Maria, and/or Ivana, so the decision was made to gang up on Stacie. Maria, using the medical expertise she has gleaned from her years of experience wearing expensive shoes, diagnosed Stacie with multiple personality disorder, and Elizabeth (board-certified physician and addiction medicine specialist) agreed. Trump dragged the Apexiennes down from the suite to get to the bottom of this, and when they all agreed that Stacie was a great big kook, he knew it had to be true. Because why would they lie? It's not like they had anything to gain by getting her in trouble. They were just speaking truth to power, y'all. The Hair threw Stacie and her gorgeous coat to the wolves, the better to prove the true merit of the Apexiennes when they are relieved of her disruptive influence. I bet they're going to do much better now. Fifteen left -- who will go next?

Credits. Grab the cat and chair-dance, chair-dance, chair-dance!

Trump Tower, night scene porn, S5, Aspiring Corporate Weasel Death Watch. Raj is working up a stir-fry and wiggling a little. (It's very dangerous to cook and dance, as you know if you've ever ruined a risotto because "Oye Como Va" came on the radio and forced you to salsa around the kitchen instead of stirring constantly.) (Not that this has ever happened to me.) Chris chops a tomato and asks John whom he thinks will be fired, and John offers up Elizabeth. The other guys agree. Raj tells us that he, too, suspects Elizabeth might find herself under "the guillotine." This comment is brilliantly punctuated by a close-up of the merciless dismembering of a chicken part with a cleaver. CHOP! We'll call that Reason Number One Why The Editors Of The Amazing Race, Survivor, and The Apprentice All Being Denied An Obviously Well-Deserved Emmy In Favor Of A Fucking Judy Garland Special Is A Bunch Of Jealous, Pompous, Resentful Bullshit Perpetrated By Snobs Who Need To Get The Hell Over It Because Good Reality Television Is Not The Reason No One Cares About Bad Scripted Television. Ahem.

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Apprentice

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