Apprentice
The Last Supper

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
The dangers of little black dresses

We land back in S5, where Jennifer C. is explaining that, in performing well in tasks, the team has had a theme -- "simple creative thinking." Which is easy to fake when you're kind of stupid and desperate, I find. In fact, fortunes have been won and lost on the tiny margin between "simple creative thinking" and "talking out of your ass." Jennifer M. explains that they picked their PM by drawing names out of a hat, and rather fatefully, the "winner" was Jenn C. As Jenn C. tries to run the meeting all petty-tyrant, with her "I am adamant" and so forth, Stacy is waggling her hand, like, "Call on me! Call on me!" They seem to be arguing over what kind of food to serve, which makes no sense if they were given a chef, but mine is not to reason why. Mine is but to...well, weep openly for my kind, I suppose. Jenn C. is determined to go with "Asian fusion," while Stacy favors Italian. "It's Asian fusion, period, executive decision," Jenn C. says, as the music descends along a "boop-boop-boop-boop-boop" Track of Amusingly Inauspicious Beginnings. It's so sad when the music guy is mocking you. Stacy leans forward, lecturing about how they need to "establish [them]selves quickly," and then we see Jenn C. interview that Stacy is "one of the most irritating people [she has] maybe ever met." And I agree. Although it kind of makes me want to offer some introductions, along the lines of, "Jenn, yourself. Yourself, Jenn."

We move to Mosaic's House Of Pancakes Or Whatever, which is located at 99 Bank Street. Raj interviews that the men's team also used the "random drawing" method of choosing a PM, and this time, he came up as the big boss. We watch the team wander the space, which seems to be plain, but nice. Chris interviews that he sort of wishes he were the PM, because he "worked in restaurants [his] whole life" as a waiter and so forth. The team decides to capitalize on this expertise, and at a meeting in the restaurant space, Chris trains the rest of the guys in waiting tables. He tells us that in the training, he covered the basics of "schmoozing that client." Chris tells the guys, specifically, to "start a bullshit conversation," as Andy chuckles at the bluntness of the advice. Chris goes on to give quite the lesson in pretending people interest you, including the obligatory "ask them where they're from" strategy. "They're going to say, 'Well, I'm from the Village,' 'I'm from Bumblefuck, New York,' it doesn't matter." Poor Bumblefuck. It really needs a Chamber of Commerce to work on its image. (I generally say "East Bumblefuck" in the same situation, so I'm not making things harder for Bumblefuck proper.) The guys laugh as Chris explains that you then wait for "What do you fuckin' recommend?" (heh again), and Wes winds up with his head down on the table, laughing. "I fucking hate the public," Chris says with a frank grin. "I fucking hate them with a passion, but I know how to play the game." And I don't want to say Chris hacked into my emails, but...it's possible. "[Chris] has a great spirit for being the person in charge of customer service," someone chuckles. I wish I knew who it was, because it's really funny, and the way the guys all crack up tells you exactly what it is that they have at this point in the competition that the women don't have at all. Raj then gives an interview -- also really funny -- in which he says, "I had faith that he could...[here, Raj stops and makes a grand, expectant, sweeping arm gesture somewhere between "throwing up" and "presenting a gift to the Queen"]...swallow his disgust and make nice." Well, Raj definitely hasn't hacked into my emails. At least not the ones in the "Sent Items" folder.

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