Apex makes its way to the room where it is to present its bottle, and when Kelly opens the door, it turns out to be the door to a large auditorium where a whole gaggle of Pepsi marketing people are hanging out. Hilariously overblown music of fear accompanies the team's entrance. Ivana explains that they were expecting a conference room, and they didn't get one. Instead, they got "a stadium in Gladiator." It's so appropriate that Ivana would name a totally overrated movie, by the way. She then says that her "heart was beating out of [her] chest." Unfortunately, she is being figurative. Apex is welcomed and invited to start its presentation. The blinds are closed. Go! Kelly starts things off, leading with "you asked us to think outside the box," and seriously, can there be anyone in marketing who believes that phrase has any meaning whatsoever anymore? Does that mean anything other than "come up with an idea," at this point? Kelly tries to stretch this into something where there's some relationship between the hole in the bottle, which is apparently square, and thinking outside the box, so they put the box in the product or something, and...really, what? Ivana goes to show off the hole in the bottle, but after pushing a pencil through the hole, even she laughs nervously like, "Yeah, I know, it's not really that exciting." If you're going to do this, you can't laugh like you feel dorky, or people will know your idea isn't really cool. Again, Ivana returns to the stupid idea of putting promotional materials inside the hole, which is so tiny that this whole idea is completely absurd. Kevin stands up and hollers about how they can make a whole campaign around the box, and the box is so awesome, and put anything you want in the box! At least he's not sweating. You know what their big slogan is? "Check the box." Do you know how boring the expression "check the box" is? People associate that with, like, doing their taxes. That's like making your hip-ass slogan "Your Name Here." The Pepsi marketing geniuses dismiss the nitwits of Apex and invite in the nitwits of Mosaic.
Episode Report CardMiss Alli: B | 536 USERS: C+
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