Apprentice
Apprentice

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Miss Alli: B | 536 USERS: C+
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The [Pepsi] Edge of Reason

Over at Mosaic, however, things look even stupider. They've decided to proceed with a globe-based design, and Sandy thinks that making it the first round Pepsi bottle ever will have some appeal. And I oddly agree, although it would be an inefficient shape for shipping and storage, which I have to think would enter into the equation somewhere. Andy explains that Sandy's idea had to be modified, because a regular round globe would not be able to be held in your hands. Huh? People hold Big Gulps; they're as big around as a round Pepsi bottle would be. I mean, you wouldn't make it perfectly round, obviously -- you'd give it a flat bottom. But could you do a generally roundish bottle? Obviously, you could. This notion that you couldn't hold it is stupid. Jen jumps in to describe what the bottle should look like, and in doing so, she appears to be the one who's talking about a narrow middle and two "more bulbous" ends, which you'll note is the basic design that is going to wind up going so badly. Jen, incidentally, gestures to the design they ultimately go with, calling it "more something we could actually sell" than a rounder bottle. Sandy, however, winds up feeling ignored, and interviews that her "voice was not heard," which is of course Apprentice for "I didn't get my way." Sandy tries to bring them back to the round globe idea, but Andy wants to go with the bulbous-ended design on the theory that he "[doesn't] want to be embarrassed." And there's some irony for you. Because I don't think there is a design they could come up with that would be more embarrassing than the one Jen is pushing, unless there were some way to design a bottle that farted.

Over at Apex, a guy is working on a computer image of a design where the middle of the bottle contains a "D" and a "G." Kelly is still advocating a hole in the bottle, which the design guy clearly has reservations about. Kelly insists it's a "'wow' factor." Eh. Maybe an "oh" factor, the first time you see it, but not a "wow" factor, to me. The design guy says that they'll do the best they can to deliver that for him. Ivana interviews that Kelly's military background leads him to "try to rule with an iron fist," and as we know, Ivana believes in leadership through puppy-hugging. Ivana suggests that Kelly's iron fist may "bite him in the butt," and that is something I would really like to see, because I've always believed that the next great leap for mankind was hands that had teeth. It would put an end to public-transportation groping forever, I think. Apex goes to the lab to watch its bottle being constructed. In a weird, red-herring moment, Ivana tells the team as it leaves the Pepsi grounds that they're not rushing, so she feels like they must be missing something. I totally expected this all to come to something, but it doesn't. I have a feeling they were fairly desperate for material this week, because...what?

Apprentice

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