Apprentice
The Pepsi Challenged

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
The [Pepsi] Edge of Reason
Previously on Blink Blink Blink: Blink blink blink blink blink, blink blink blink blink blink blink. Blink blink blink -- blink blink (blink blink blink blink). Blink blink "blink blink blink" blink blink blink blink. Blink. Blink blink blink, blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink blink. Blink blink, blink, blink blink blink blink blink blink blink. Blink blink blink blink blink blink, blink blink blink, "Blink, blink blink!" BLINK! Blink blink, blink blink, "Blink, blink blink blink." Blink. Blink blink blink blink blink?

Credits. It occurs to me that a good way to wind up with a final six I don't give a rip about is to start with an opening eighteen I don't give a rip about.

New York, night. Buildings. And up in S5, the ACWDW. Ivana is frying something for dinner in the sizzling skillet representing the position she will one day occupy beside her dark master, and Kelly asks her why they're waiting around for three people, when they outnumber them anyway. Hell, yeah, eat the food. It's not like you have to make some kind of pretense of giving a good goddamn about anyone other than yourself. It's just not that kind of season. Ivana chuckles and walks off, wearing pink pants and a black jacket that just...well, really, there's no need for pink pants, practically ever. Especially if they have horizontal black pinstripes. As the group discusses dinner, there is much careful attention to the way Kelly is setting the table for the seven who will remain after three return from the Boardroom. After, you know, one person is fired. Get it? GET IT? Ivana continues to fuss over dinner. Jen makes a bold prediction to us that Andy, Sandy, and Maria will come back, and that Wes will be fired. With a little smile, she acknowledges that "the Boardroom can be unpredictable." Her hair is carefully arranged over her shoulder at all times.

Sandy glides through the door, with Andy behind her. As Andy strides into the kitchen, he says, "He fired two people." The rest of the folks look stunned. There is even gasping. Sandy says that when she and Andy got back, everyone realized that there were six of them, and they were the final six. I keep hearing how smart they are; I guess that's your proof. Sandy goes on to inform us that now that there are six left, it's time to "break from the pack." There is the obligatory "and then there were six" toast around the table, because it's always nice to pretend you don't hate everyone, even when you totally do. Sandy decides to pick at a scab by asking the rest of them whether they anticipated that she would make it this far. Ivana admits that she wouldn't have thought so. AWKWARD. Sandy interviews that she's the only one there who doesn't have a college degree, "technically." What it means to have "technically" no degree, I'm not sure, as I felt like I went from having no degree to having a degree during a ceremony where they handed me a paper thingy that was all, "You have a degree," so I'm not sure how one "technically" lacks one, but I suppose it's one of those qualifiers that is sometimes employed for no particular good reason. Sandy points out, though, that her lack of education hasn't hurt her none; she can read the writing on the wall. Or something. She thinks her educational status won't "play a toll." Among the classes she did not "technically" take, it would seem: English. Kevin assures Sandy around the dinner table that Trump wants leaders, and they're all leaders. Even, apparently, Ivana, who, in my opinion, couldn't lead a pack of wild dogs with a steak tied to her ass.

And now, Apex has a team meeting about who's going to be the PM. Ivana thinks that she somehow "earned" it, based on her performance in the jeans task, but Jen wants to be considered, too. Ivana argues that for "stepping up" on the last task, she's got the right to the position. But Jen says no, Ivana can't just have it because she wants it. Which is true, but of course, Ivana is in full indignation mode after Jen's stepping on her glory in the Levi's meeting, so she's in a mood to feel usurped. If Ivana were confident, what she should have done was let Jen take it, because Jen? Sucks. And if you expose her suck a little bit, she's going to eventually display it flagrantly. But then Kelly, the bullying asshole who has already led twice -- including two tasks ago, and was exempt from the Boardroom that just happened -- insists that he also wants PM. What bullshit. I think the team should have put its foot down here and said no, they would draw names between Jen and Ivana, but they would not accept Kelly. Because he had his opportunity to lead, and he climbed on Sandy's back and let her carry him to an exemption that, if life were fair, would have been hers. Furthermore, overly enthusiastic exemption-chasing strikes me as a little unseemly and weak. Boyfriend Bill had no exemptions. Kwame had no exemptions. They lived or died every week according to whatever happened that particular week, and how they had performed overall. What is Kelly so afraid of? I think it's ridiculously dick of him to even suggest himself, and ridiculously wussy of the rest of the team to agree to even put him in the draw. But they do. Not only do they let him in the draw, but he wins, meaning that he has a chance at his second exemption in three tasks, which I'm just not sure is as good of a thing as Kelly thinks. I think in the end, never being in jeopardy actually hurt Amy last season, because she never had a chance to build up her confidence, and the first couple of times she actually had to defend herself, she looked sweaty and terrified. But anyway. "Everybody okay?" Kelly asks. And then he smarms, "Group hug?" Because it's not enough for him to screw you -- you have to tell him you don't mind. I hate that. Jen gives a wonderfully phony nasal laugh, and I suspect that she, actually, is perfectly fine with not being PM. The last thing she wants is to be found out as a do-nothing lump of polish with no substance. I think she didn't want Ivana to have it because she didn't want Ivana to get the exemption, and she wanted to go in for it so that it wouldn't look like she was dodging it, but I don't think Jen wants to lead. She's done pretty well at avoiding it so far.

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