Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 505 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Get out of my face

There is a meeting of Alex, Kendra, and Bren, in which they agree that they should make Bren the PM of this task. Alex's thinking is that this will keep it from looking like there was a "hostile takeover" of their team by, I guess, Craig and Tana. "Me, you, and Kendra were the ones who built Magna Corp," Alex tells Bren. And..."built"? Alex goes on: "This is a corporation." And as much as I'd like to see what it would mean to have Alex's corporate veil pierced sometime, I have to take issue with that. It is exactly not a corporation. It is a loose affiliation of dunces. Kendra sort of snots in an interview that they're on a winning streak and they have, after all, won both with and without Tana and Craig, so apparently, they really are looking to assert dominance or something. Which is sort of boring and dumb, even for this show. When I scribble in my head what I want out of every episode, I almost never write "intramural squabbling."

The next morning, Stephanie answers the Rhonaphone. Rhona tells her that the rendezvous point is at the Trump Grill at 9:00 AM. Stephanie and her robe hang up the phone, and before you know it, we are at the aforementioned Trump Grill, where Trump is forcing the poor chef to state that the Trump Grill has the best buffet in the city. There's so much pressure working for Trump. He doesn't even leave you the soft cloak of your chef-like humility.

The candidates file in, and Angie's hair is somehow even scarier than usual. It's just as oddly colored, and now it's more architecturally complex. Trump greets them. He tells them that Net Worth is "decimated," so he will let the three of them draft someone from Magna. The Net Worthians put their heads (such as they are) together and select Alex. Alex does not look happy, but he comes over and gives hugs anyway, because it doesn't appear that he has the option of taking up arms in his own defense, which he would probably tell you is what's wrong with America, actually. "Okay," Trump says noncommittally about the switch-off of Alex before announcing the big news, which is that the teams now have four each. Aw, Donny is a good counter! Trump tells the teams, in case they missed it when they were called on the phone, found their way here, and came inside, that they're standing in the Trump Grill, which he has spent two or three handfuls of pocket change to transform into the majestic, Vegas-casino-like sprawl you see now. And actually, between the moment when Trump quizzed the chef a second ago and now, this has become the best buffet not only in New York but in the country. Man, I can barely keep up. Look out, Venusian smorgasbords! Your alien asses are next! Trump adds that he included in this grill a big pizza oven. So now, topic: pizza! The pizza business, Trump explains, is worth $32 billion a year. And who's the biggest, most mundane, and thus most Apprentice-ready company in the business? Domino's! Domino's makes 400 million boring, sub par pizzas every year. In this task, the teams will help! Each team will create an original pizza using specialty toppings. Trump briefly mentions that he likes meatballs, for instance, and then he tells them that after developing their pizza, they'll learn to make it, and then they'll have to market and sell it from a "mobile kitchen." Whoever has the most sales will win. Trump reminds Craig that he's exempt if his team loses. And the losing team will come back to the Boardroom, and someone will be fired. And I'll be sad that it can't be John, because his firing was the most satisfying thing to hit this show in a few weeks, and things are kind of slowing down.

Apprentice

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