Apprentice
The Pie's The Limit

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Get out of my face
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Do It Yourself; It's Much Funnier That Way Because Of The Potential For Injuries: Nobody believed in The Box except for Craig, and it was like a little children's book where only The Box's daddy really loved him, but then everyone came to see how beautiful The Box really was, and now it's an HBO cartoon special that Focus on the Family is convinced represents an advancing of the gay agenda, because everyone knows that The Box is supposed to represent having two mommies. Or something. Net Worth built a sad, rickety, fairly guffaw-inducing little cart, and they couldn't even do that right. ("Do it like we're doing it! Only not upside-down!") Project manager Angie took her thoroughly screwed team to the Boardroom, where Erin picked up the Pitchfork of Crinkle-Nosed Fury and instigated an anti-Chris revolt. The revolt was so dramatic as to drive Chris to make rash promises that he would give up chewing tobacco if it meant the difference between being fired and not. Because you know what Chris needs right now to make him more fun to be around? Withdrawal symptoms! In the end, the revolt was kind of revolting, and after Erin reverted to her default position of winking to get her way, Trump decided that even a woman who was not a former beauty queen would be preferable to swallowing another gallon of Erin's swill. Now, eight are left. Ask not for whom the cab meter ticks; it ticks for one of these goofballs, happily.

Rainy street porn, with buses! Buses are hott! Then, we are up in the L-Pal, where Stephanie is saying that if Erin returns, she's likely to be "on fire." Stephanie adds, however, that "you can only use your sex appeal for so far [sic]." Good to get the women meowing in the first ten seconds, just in case you were afraid nothing really embarrassing for our kind was going to happen in this episode. The L-Pal door flies open, and the crowd goes wild at the appearance of Chris and Angie. Tana, in particular, seems happy to see them both. Stephanie tries to act sad in an interview about Erin's departure, but I don't really think she cares. I think it's like when the prom queen who is secretly liked by no one gets thrown off the cheerleading squad and one of her friends has to be like, "It was really unfair what they did to Doreen. I can barely bring myself to go out for captain." As it happens, Stephanie's sadness is mostly self-centered anyway: "I was pretty much stuck with Angie and Chris," she grouses. She announces that Angie and Chris are both "mean," and they're "verbally abusive." Angie? Is verbally abusive? That's a new one on me. I'd go with "overbearing" at times, and certainly "stripey." But I don't know about "verbally abusive." In a little team meeting, Stephanie tries to bullshit Angie with an "I was with you the whole time" speech regarding the Boardroom, and Angie tells her, "Oh, whatever. You didn't help me a bit, and you know it." Heh. Angie's lips said "whatever," but her voice totally said "cram it." Needless to say, I agree with the voice. Chris gets creepier and creepier as Angie and Stephanie argue and he turns to the rest of the team doing this incredibly weird "heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh" laugh that makes him sound like a freaking nut case. Heh-heh-heh! They're fighting! Heh-heh-heh! That boy is not right.

There is a meeting of Alex, Kendra, and Bren, in which they agree that they should make Bren the PM of this task. Alex's thinking is that this will keep it from looking like there was a "hostile takeover" of their team by, I guess, Craig and Tana. "Me, you, and Kendra were the ones who built Magna Corp," Alex tells Bren. And..."built"? Alex goes on: "This is a corporation." And as much as I'd like to see what it would mean to have Alex's corporate veil pierced sometime, I have to take issue with that. It is exactly not a corporation. It is a loose affiliation of dunces. Kendra sort of snots in an interview that they're on a winning streak and they have, after all, won both with and without Tana and Craig, so apparently, they really are looking to assert dominance or something. Which is sort of boring and dumb, even for this show. When I scribble in my head what I want out of every episode, I almost never write "intramural squabbling."

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Apprentice

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