Apprentice
The Pie's The Limit

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+
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Get out of my face

Magna is at a Domino's discussing possibilities for their pizza. Bren says something about barbecue sauce, a truly heinous notion unique to the red states, I think, and then he voices over that he wanted to be project manager to show Trump that he's "a winner," and he also wants the exemption. Interestingly, just like Net Worth, Magna has returned to the idea of meatball pizza, just like Trump wanted. Kendra keeps talking about something pepperoni-based, and then they discuss pepper steak, and Philly steak, and somehow, Craig and Kendra are having some huge power smackdown that only they seem to know about, which I think is an exploration of whether it's really small-minded of her to think everyone likes pepperoni. And I have no idea whether that's supposed to be a metaphor. I don't know, Craig seems...mad? About something she's saying about pepperoni? It's very confusing. Tana interviews that Craig and Kendra were kind of acting freaky, which was frustrating her, because it is pizza, and you don't agonize over it, you just make it. "This isn't rocket scientist [sic]," she says, stepping on her own point and crushing it like a meringue. Tana goes on to describe to the team a meatball pizza with provolone and an overload of the word "saucy," interviewing that this was the result of her "Italian heritage." She says that being in the pizza kitchen at Domino's was just like her "grandma's kitchen." In fact, she says she dedicated the Domino's pizza to her grandmother. (Grandma: "Oh, thanks. You don't want to throw in some Spaghetti-Os? Because that would really honor my Italian ass.") And then Tana abruptly tells the team they can call it "Meatball Mangia." The team will take it, and Tana says her ass was on the line and that she hopes "the son of a bitch will sell tomorrow." Wow, profane! But she's grinning all toothy, so it's okay. They are in agreement at last.

The Trump motto is "Know When To Fold." He tells us that sometimes, you have to know when to bail on a bad idea. And then they end the show. Just kidding! Actually, they show Trump trying to get a deal out of some dude who doesn't want to do anything. Trump says that in that case, you have to bail and hope to do better next time. Aw, Trump! I can see why he keeps getting married, I guess.

Net Worth is in its "mobile kitchen" (basically a trailer), and Stephanie has taken the highly practical step of wearing a white sweater for pizza-making. That's how you demonstrate that you're there to work. She reiterates that the task was to create an original pizza, and she reminds us about the wonder that is the Meatball Masterpiece. Out on the street, Alex is greeting a couple of what Stephanie calls "promotional models" (as opposed to, I guess, stealth models) whom they had enlisted to market the pizza on the street for them. Hey, just like we've often suggested! And Stephanie has decided to send their canvassers to...a bunch of NYU dorms. In the middle of the day. During the lunch rush. Because what do college students do a lot of? Hang around their rooms at lunch ordering pizza. Is she an idiot? A short time later, we see Alex working the counter, greeting a woman who tells him she's from England. "One of our ally countries," he happily notes, because he's a xenophobic tool in addition to several other kinds. Alex answers the ringing phone, though not promptly, and takes an order. And then he chitchats with another girl at the counter. He even tells her he grew up in Seattle. That's helpful, I'm sure, and information she totally needs! Chris comments that Alex was talking to "females" instead of working at the register. I so love guys who call us "females." That is so hot. It makes me feel all zoo and shit. Chris says that basically, the place was busy, and Alex was not prioritizing his time correctly at all.

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Apprentice

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