Apprentice
The Pie's The Limit

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Get out of my face

In the Love Palace, Stephanie tells Angie that she thinks the team worked badly together, in spite of her efforts to keep up a "positive environment." Stephanie tells Angie then that Chris is the issue, and reportedly threatened to beat up Alex. Angie goes immediately to Chris and, interestingly, Tana, and tells them about Stephanie's accusations against Chris. Tana asks Chris in a whisper whether he threatened Alex, and of course, Chris says he didn't. Chris looks nutty as he goes off in search of Alex. When he finds him, he asks if Alex has been telling people Chris threatened him. "What?" Alex asks stupidly as he thinks about what to say. "Come on, bro!" Chris says, instantly earning my hate, because, "bro"? No. I hate "bro." "Bro" is a scourge. Alex says that he really did feel like Chris was picking a fight with him. Chris says something meaningless about how "if you're not being honest with yourself, dude, you're not being honest with yourself, [dude]," and then he's all, "I DO SPEAK FACTS!" and his mouth is all weird and over-enunciating, and he's stranger than before, so I recommend bailing out somewhere around here. "YOU DO NOT SPEAK FACTS! YOU'RE NOT SPEAKING FACTS RIGHT NOW!" Alex tells Chris that he doesn't know how else to interpret all the "get the fuck out of my face" other than as threatening. And, frankly, I agree. "To a normal person, Chris, that means 'I am almost ready to get in a fight with you.'" And again, I agree. Not totally -- I don't think Chris literally wanted to fight him, but that's the affect, and Chris needs to get wise to it. And then Chris gets completely fictional, insisting that Alex came right up in his face all pointing and going, "Don't EVER EVER talk to me like that again!" which really never happened, even a little. Remarkably, Chris is pretty much mixing up what he said with what Alex said, because it was Chris who said, "Don't ever talk to me like that ever again." And then Chris is all, "You can't make an excuse for that, dude, I didn't do that to you, [dude]," and then this stupid moment is happily over. Chris tells us that he totally doesn't trust Alex anymore, and he can't stand Alex, and he thought Alex was his friend, and blah dee blah. Poor Chris, all disillusioned and jonesing for nicotine.

Morning. Time for breakfast at the Trumpartment, set to chipper music that sounds like the twins in The Parent Trap are getting ready to undertake another one of their wacky schemes. The doors are opened, and the team is welcomed inside. Kendra says that the Trumpartment was "bling-bling," and says that he must have been a rapper in a former life. Which is a little bit funny, actually. "I have never seen so much gold trim in my life," she laughs. Well, at least somebody said it out loud. I mean, somebody besides me. The team admires the stuff, and then Trump comes down the stairs and greets them. They gush about how beautiful it is. He seats them for breakfast, and Trump says that building the Trumpartment was more difficult than building the rest of Trump Tower. The marble table, for instance, came up in one piece up the outside of the building, and it took a special crane. Just for that. Trump also confirms that the budget was "unlimited." Yeah, I'm guessing. "The budget was unlimited, and I exceeded it," he adds. They all laugh, even though it's not funny, because they want to work for him, so that's what you do. Tana tells us that she's excited to be in front of Trump with a chance to talk to him in an "open environment." Of course, she thinks her personality will sell her. He asks them what was up with their pizza that was so good, and they talk about the meatballs and whatnot. Trump breaks the news that Domino's is actually going to make their pizza. Wowie! That really is remarkable! What a coincidence! Marketing synergy!

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Apprentice

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