Apprentice
The Razor's Edge

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
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"You Are Chaos And Disorganization!"

Okay. Does Brent own pants? Can we get Brent some pants? Is there maybe a foundation where Trump could set Brent up with some slacks or something? Because I am so sick of seeing his pasty fucking self without pants. He's farting around in his shorts again, bathrobe hanging open, fucked-up hair all askew, fairly chasing people across the street with his aggression and grossness. All that's missing is, like, dribbled food down his shirtfront. Or a IV stand attached to him, that he could pull around on little wheels. He actually has the nerve to interview: "As far as I'm concerned, we have to go full-force ahead. I actually have another technique to attract people." And oh, does he ever. He starts dancing around like a freak, yelling at Sean, laughing weirdly, doing the Truffle Shuffle, dancing to no music at all, yelling and hooting and hollering. (Am I getting confused? Is this Taylor Hicks all of a sudden? TiVo, I swear to God.) Get this shit off my screen. Brent does the robot and dances like a fuckface. People laugh at him cruelly. He has no idea. He never does. This is worse than karaoke. I want to die. Roxanne's not impressed, Stacy's staring like she's about to barf, passersby tear up with embarrassment. Stacy interviews: "I'm a criminal defense attorney. I've met the strangest people you can possibly imagine. I have never seen a creation like this." Word, lady. I can't...at least criminals do their crimes to other people. That's so much more satisfying than this. Ivanka offers slight praise: "Well. He's hard to miss." The whole team, plus Ivanka, laugh at him. "Brent is an anomaly. I've never saw somebody operate this way." Some people text the number, presumably so that he'll step away, and Brent interviews, "If Synergy didn't have Brent on this task, they wouldn't have gotten the attention. I was able to use the sign and my other creative talents" -- such as dance, robotics, and being a nutcase -- "to attract people. And I'm good at it. Maybe the team is starting to realize that I am a talented individual." I think they already knew you were good at this, Brent. But what you're never apparently going to understand is that what you're demonstrating is not a business skill, but in fact behaving like a fool. A disgusting, shameless, dickheaded nuisance of a fool. "Listen to me, and we will win this task." No they won't, but anyway how about: "Get some self respect, and you'll deserve it."

Flash Quiz! This task requires getting the attention of others! Do you:

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Apprentice

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