The Razor's Edge

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
"You Are Chaos And Disorganization!"

This Boardroom is so weirdly edited. Trump jumps from that to some bullshit comment about having only the women in bathrobes, which everyone kindly ignores. I think the all-time record for Trump's asshatted comments, in terms at least of quantity, gets raised in this episode. I love Ivanka, but I miss Carolyn. Andrea tells him that the bathrobes were Michael's idea, and he pusses out majorly: "I'm not the one that has final approval." Trump explains pretty cogently how just saying that means that Michael sucks, so Michael jumps sideways into asshole territory: "You are looking for the next Apprentice. A member of the team has threatened a female member of the team." Stacy goes: "Oh, fuck," using just her face. Trump asks who, and Michael pauses -- "Am I actually going to pull this shit?" -- before naming Stacy. So now Michael's off the hotseat, and Stacy's on it. And Michael did that, knowing full well that Stacy didn't want this in the Boardroom. And here I was liking Michael. Too bad. ["You really see the divide, right here, between the show's stated objective -- finding an executive -- and the fact that the show is a contest. If there aren't cameras in the room, I don't think Michael's touching that shit with a ten-foot pole. Maybe I'm wrong; let's caucus." -- Sars]

"His words, and the conduct accompanying those words...I felt threatened." Which is the best way to say it, I guess, once you're painted into this corner. But Trump goes weird: "You're a criminal defense attorney, you've seen worse." Which would be bad enough, because the answer is not from the other fucking attorneys, I haven't, and not in a professional capacity, but he follows it up with the painfully obvious and not-at-all relevant "I think you scare Brent!" Who then...fucking...laughs. Like that's a point in his goddamn favor. Like Trump didn't just insult him worse than either of them know. "Ha, ha, I'm scared of women and that makes me aggressive and scary and awkward and pathetic! Ha!" Stacy says the very awesomest thing she'll ever say: "I wish I did scare Brent." She tries again to explain the story: she was trying to get back into to the meeting room, and he rushed her because she wasn't listening to his rant. Ivanka asks what he was saying, and Trump still wants to know if he "really" scared her, and Ivanka rolls her eyes, although whether she's just given up on Stacy or her own father is ambiguous.

"He stuck his finger in my face, and was screaming inches from my face." Which -- is not okay, would not have been okay if he'd done it to Pepi, or Bryce, or giant Chris from last season. Grow the fuck up and get your finger out of my face. Whether it's "scary" is not material, and I think Stacy gets that distinction. Trump asks if Brent "threatened" her, and Brent "responds": "Absolutely not! And shame on Stacy as an attorney, to make such an accusation! She was constantly ... being extremely rude and disrespectful to me while I was putting forth ideas!" Which is...too stupid to comment on. I've already said my piece on why each bit of this is stupid. Trump's great, though: "Isn't everybody disrespectful to you? Everybody on this team, they don't respect you, Brent, right?" Brent just goes on blabbering about nothing, which anyone would do if somebody said that shit to them, and Trump gets bored. "Doesn't matter. This has been such a disastrous team, and the job you did was so bad, you can bring in three people. Because frankly, I see numerous reasons." Pepi wants to bring in Brent, Stacy, and Michael. Yep. "You know what, the loss was so bad I'm going to fire two people. Everybody else go up to the suite." Eyes wide all over the place. I think Pepi and Brent should go home, because Pepi is a failure as a manager, and Brent is a failure as a person. Well, that's mean. He's a fixer-upper that will never, ever get fixed up.

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