The Razor's Edge

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
"You Are Chaos And Disorganization!"

Trump asks whether that hasn't happened to her before -- which is, again, not the point, because The Apprentice is not about how good you'd be as a security guard on the fucking lockdown ward, it's about how good you'd be as a successful business person dealing with other mature, successful business people -- and she goes to an iffy place. "I saw a moment of Brent that nobody else saw here." Which sounds like she's saying it's a he said/she said, basic reality drama issue, but I think is more intended to be like, "The rest of my team, as well as everyone in this room, doesn't know what I'm talking about, because you weren't there." As a viewer, I saw the footage, and I wasn't worried about her safety, but I did think he was acting like a jackass about fifteen different ways, and needed a refresher on personal space.

Of course, Bill never met a cliché he didn't want to rub himself all over: "You have one side, he has another, we're never going to get to the truth!" Which I guess is technically true, except that A) the footage exists, which I know because I've seen it, we all have; and B) you have the fucking "truth" sitting in front of you, which is that Brent has nearly crawled on top of the table six times during this conversation, while Stacy has calmly avoided making any kind of freaky spastic movements whatsoever, and C) it's so not the point, and the only person still arguing about the Brent/Stacy Threat Matrix is...Bill. Who just admitted he wasn't there, and basically also admitted that it wasn't material. And who just seems to like yelling at Stacy for some reason.

Trump wraps it up. "The other team clobbered you. It wasn't close. The leadership [Pepi] wasn't good, the location wasn't good [Stacy], it was probably a mistake with the bathrobes [Michael]. Brent, you're a total disaster. Okay. That's the way it looks to me. I have to start by saying that location is very important. Stacy, you picked the wrong location, and if you can't handle Brent you can't handle my business." True enough, although it doesn't exactly reflect well on your "business." She's fired, and fucking Brent fucking grins so shit-eating wide you can actually see the paste he ate in grade school, back when people first started making fun of him. "Michael, you have great potential. You did a terrible job, [and] if you do it again you'll be fired so fast your head will spin." He deserves to stay, even though I'm very iffy about whether or not he's a good guy. "I won't disappoint you again," Michael says. Of course. "Brent, you're going very quickly, but the PM... You didn't lead, and you are fired." I'm so super-fine with that, because Pepi was a fucking disaster, and I fully admit that I would have been sad that Brent didn't get tossed in a much more amazing way if he'd gone tonight. Like Clay or Markus last year, you gotta save those "You are fired because you are hateful and lame and will never work within my company" firings until you really need them. Ivanka drops her gaze and Michael sighs. Pepi sweetly says goodbye to Ivanka, and then outside, he apologizes to Stacy. She tells him not to worry about it. In the other elevator is something so fucking gross and scary it's like a horror movie: Brent, half in the shadows, smiling exactly like an Other, like you know that one Henry guy is going to smile some day real soon. I mean it. It has nothing to do with my frustration with Brent, or anything in particular between us, it could be anybody, but it's just so scary, the visual. I keep going back to it and getting the shivers, all week. It's like he's got a crawlspace, this smile.

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