What's Your Automotive Personality Type?

1. Are you in control? Yes or No.
2. Are you worthy? Yes or No.
3. Are you intimidated? Yes or No.
4. Do you need permission? Yes or No.

Answer Key: Give yourself ten points for each matching answer.
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
3. No.
4. No.

Your results:
30 - 40: You and I both know you already have a Lamborghini anyway, so stop screwing around and get back on task.
20 - 30: Stop asking for permission and go for it! It doesn't matter if you deserve it, or even if you can afford it! Aspiration in advertising is so last month.
10 - 20: Can I interest you in this delightful used Audi?
00 - 10: Prove it, Markus.

Trump's rolling up in his car talking to nobody, I'm sure, about how he's going to the ad agency to check on them. Inside, Chris is wrapping it all up and getting everybody stoked, and Josh is looking a little harried. Creepy Dumb Mark tells us how they're totally going to "win it, and win it big" and how nice that will be for Randal, to be able to share their prize that's totally in the bag, no question, no way. Mark is itching to go on my list. God. Randal comes in just before they give their presentation, and Chris sweetly interviews that having him back in time was a great energy boost for everyone. They enter the room, and Chris gives them this totally fake cheesy sales pitch, and then the ad: it starts with zooming sounds, and there's a slo-mo black-and-white shot of what I guess is a vintage Lamborghini. Lamborghinis of all ages are the exact same amount of hideous and nobody can expect me to know the difference, so don't bug me about it. The judges look bored, and there's an awesome shot where Markus snaps his head over, stares at them freakishly, and then snaps back, all in time to the music. The car turns yellow, and I guess into a new kind of ugly Lamborghini, very excitingly.

Chris gives his speech and describes the "Green With Envy" poster in such a way where he...reads it. Word by word, he goes through the whole copy, stands there for a second, and then moves on to the next print ad, which is also ugly and stupid-looking, and then gives a really long speech on the concept of "water," as in H2O, as in the most boring thing in the universe, but I guess he tries to spice it up by mentioning that water is wet, and clear, and sometimes causes catastrophes. Ehren, the Lamborghini Twit, looks bored and unsure, but the guys just grin smugly the entire time. Especially James (I think), who has this nervous, sharky smirk every second of every day. He's like that little kid down the street where you just want to shake them and be like, "What did you do? Just tell me what you did! You're clearly hiding something! Tell me you didn't kill any pets or do anything gross in my house while I was out."