Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | 690 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Two: Leave It On The Playground

Then the dudes spend a thousand years fighting over this poster: A green Lamborghini with the words "Green With Envy." written over it. Okay, A, that means the car is envious; B, it looks exactly like a VW ad; and C, nobody would ever be envious of a car that color. Mostly A, though, because no matter what, the car is green. It's stupid. Mark is confusing here, because he interviews how Markus has this huge problem with it because it suggests, any way you slice it, that the car is green with envy. Mark seems to agree, in the interview, but he immediately says that he and Chris decided to keep it anyway. Markus wants at least a question mark at the end, and yes, that would be better, but the car is…still green. Anyway, it's boring, and then they all talk each other up and get all frothing and fratty with each other. They do that thing where instead of talking about the thing, they talk about the talking about the thing, and try to sell it to themselves, rather than addressing the underpinnings of the crappiness. Just like in the last scene. This is why I don't work for a regular company anymore, because meetings like this make me want to kick a baby in the face. Masturbatory, ephemeral, time-wasting, stupid. Mark assures us of their victory, at this point in his interview, and we fade out on him laughing in slow motion, tipping his head back, flush with hubris.

Randal dresses and flies off to his grandmother's funeral. Josh -- whose awesomeness, it would seem, is mostly located in his glasses, which some kind of coolness Delilah has taken away, because now he just looks like a pudgy blonde that should have his own sitcom where his wife is hot -- hugs him goodbye and he gets on the chopper, noting that (as though they have options) the team is being very supportive. We accompany him to the church, and watch him go inside, then we go to the gravesite and watch them put her in the ground. Why? He tells us he will be inspired by her memory, and there are lots of shots of him looking sad. This is so fucking cheap. I hope you love Randal, you guys, because he's going to be in the final.

Apprentice

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