Apprentice
There's No "I" In Team

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Two: Leave It On The Playground

Linda says that Excel "put a lot of thought into" their campaign, but the problem was that "everything was words." Exactly. Ehren brings up the whole stupid "Green With Envy" thing and Markus fully interrupts both judges to give a gasbag speech about "exactly, exactly" and how that was "exactly [his] problem." Trump looks perturbed as Markus rants on and on about what a terrible idea his team had, and all the guys are stunned and grossed out. Trump asks them if they feel he's being a team player here, and everybody is like, "No way." I would have cobra'd his ass so fast right there. "Markus, you can leave. Now. Walk out of this room and don't look back, my 'multipreneurial' friend."

Linda then brings up the lowercase "Italian," and Trump asks whether or not Team Excel respects Italians. Mark allows that he does, but that he didn't want it to overshadow the L in Lamborghini or the I in Intimidation. Linda says that "at the end of the day" (DRINK!), it's about "making the consumer feel something," and that the Capital Edge video made her heart beat a little faster. Ehren concurs, the women squeal, and the men look destroyed. Duh, Team Excel.

Trump addresses Marshawn: "You're the Project Manager." She replies, "With honor," which I love because it's so totally Marshawn, and Kristi makes a stinkface. Trump asks the team to vote on her exemption for next week, and the first people to vote yes are…Jen M. and Alla. At which point Kristi might as well have given in, because what's your point? Trump reads Kristi's expression, though, and asks if he's correct in thinking that Kristi is voting no. "She led well, she listened, she spoke to...but she never got her feet wet," Kristi tries to explain, and it's rough because she just comes off like a total bitch even though I don't think that's her intention. For the second week, I'm giving her that pass -- I realize this -- but it won't last forever. Trump: "Marshawn, with the exception of Kristi, you're exempt." Ouch. He's totally giving Kristi hell at the same time that he's not at all giving her hell about it. The women all flip out about their win, right up until the nanosecond when the prize is revealed, and then their smiles turn fake and all the boys start crying: they're going to be playing hockey with the New York Islanders at Nassau Coliseum. Dear Donald Trump and Patron Saint of TWoP: No thank you. Love, Jacob.

Kristi, cute and in uniform, explains that she knows nothing about hockey except that they throw each other against the ice, "which I love" (which I, in turn, love), and then skips down the hallway and tries to get everybody singing "Eye Of The Tiger," which she calls "the Rocky music," but…nobody can remember how it goes, and it sounds like she's singing "Mairzie Doats." They then play hockey. Capital Edge gets the first shot, and then Rebecca breaks her ankle. Terrible pain is apparent in her voice and face as she tells us what happened. They ice her down in the manager's office, and Toral comes in with her lunch on a paper plate, which she gnaws on while they discuss it. Somehow this is totally adorable, I have no idea how she pulls it off but it's really cute. Rebecca interviews that Toral coming in to talk to her was totally "stepping up," which for some reason makes me laugh because they always say that, but they mean something different, like going the extra mile taskwise, and so it's like she's just using this term they're all constantly throwing around because they're already rats in a cage. Rebecca has this great face, an angry but humorous "this is such bullshit" smile, the entire time. I think I really like her. I said that last week too. She seems to have a hardcoreness within that we have only seen so far in spurts. She interviews, "I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and I really hope there's a quick fix for this." That's like her whole take: "This is bullshit and I would like it to not be an obstacle." That's good. She's good.

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Apprentice

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