There's No "I" In Team

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | Grade It Now!
Lesson Two: Leave It On The Playground

Chris protests that in fact Markus was given certain responsibilities, which he fucked up in a really irritating manner, and Markus denies. Chris goes back to the "team synergy" well for the fifty-first time, and Trump -- bored with this, because no matter how many times you say it, it's not the point -- again points out that Mark ruined everything, and Chris should have brought him in. Chris says the uncategorizable "I believed in him, so his mistake is mine," which is a little too little a little too late, and Trump is like, "Fine, so they were your mistakes." Trump bitches a little about how he can't believe that Chris has put him into this position, since "nobody likes" Markus and he's "a disaster," but that ultimately Trump asked for a "smart business decision" and Chris came across with "an emotional one." The emotion of despising the despicable, but Trump's right. For the second week in a row. "I told you to bring Mark, and you didn't. You didn't." Trump slams the table with his palm and it's very impressive. "You're fired, Chris." At least Markus doesn't smile. As they stand, Trump shouts a good-natured and very welcome, "You got great potential, man. Get out of here." To Markus, he shakes his head. "I don't see you lasting long." Because Markus can't let all that Dale Carnegie he read obsessively and refused to internalize go to waste, he tools it up with an "I'll prove you wrong." Trump dismisses him with this face like, "God, just leave."

Chris thanks Trump and the Viceroys, and everybody looks pretty bummed that he forced them do this. Chris gets on the elevator and looks very sad, and it's…very sad. Inside, Trump's like, "I hated to fire him. I think he's great!" George is supportive: "He brought it on himself. You gave him all kinds of opportunities." Trump mournfully trumps, "We…had no choice." Markus obliviously schleps his luggage back up to the suite, which greets him with silent horror, and Chris takes his taxi time to…not learn anything from this experience whatsoever: "Markus will not last." He then spins an involved metaphor about his days in crew, how if one guy's not rowing, you just spin in place, but with Markus, he's not only not rowing, but he's not got a paddle, he's facing the other way, drinking a martini, and talking to the captain. I would add, "And trying to make the captain like him more than the rest of the crew like one of those kids in elementary school who was always friends with, like, lunch ladies and the school nurse."

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