Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 699 USERS: B-
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Lesson Five: Speak Up. Or: Don't, Depending

He immediately recovers and simply says he can respect that approach, which is awesome of him, because it puts in place the point he never gets to make, which is that being a dick is just one of many ways of getting things done. Aimee talks a bunch more about how she's trying to be fair but just wants some answers and that she may well be "blunt" or "direct," but this is the price of dealing with Aimee. She is kind of making a fool of herself, but in a way where she looks good. Nicole pronounces this "respectable," and all of Arrow kind of collectively sighs and decides Aimee's not so bad. They did not see her wandering Ralph's in her pajamas, though. Nicole tells Trump that "based on what you're saying," and the obvious ribbing and complaining about Aaron that Trump's been doing since yesterday, she supposes that Aaron's the problem here. Again: so stupid that you say this out loud? "Well, I'm a spineless retard, but I know which way the wind's blowing, and without any factual basis I guess I'll just openly admit that I will do or say anything you want me to." Even Trump calls bullshit on this, but reminds everybody about how last week Aaron didn't say anything in the boardroom, one more time, and Aaron's finally like, "Look. I had no idea what you wanted from me, I didn't know how to navigate the scary fucking minefield of your, Trump's, sense of self and masculinity and authority, such that stepping all over your lines and barking orders is a very different proposition when a young, good-looking guy like myself does it, rather than this woman who seems to have drunk an entire bottle of cough syrup, because you secretly hate young, good-looking men like myself and less-secretly think all women are just a little stupid and below the radar of your broken American manhood issues. So, like, should I have done that, and gotten axed tonight, or should I have said nothing like a pussy -- like Sean has been doing since birth -- and just hoping not to get Catch-22'd by this new stupid rule?"

Sean nods sagely, disappointed by this stance: "Just to be yourself. Just be yourself, that's all we wanted." BARF! I hate him so much! "We" don't want anything! You're a PROP! A British sleazeball prop with a face like a cat's anus. You are not anything to Trump, you have no authority in this room or any other room, and every word you say underlines your total pathos. Trump's like, "Yeah, 'we' wanted that. You don't have to be a total hard-ass like Aimee -- who by the way needs to chill the hell out considering last boardroom her ass came close to getting fired -- but you needed to man up." Aimee's whole vibe goes clattering to the floor, and he apologizes; she assures him that she sees where he's coming from. Really what he just did was say, "I need you to do and be both everything and nothing at once, okay? That's not too much to ask? Because you know, Aaron here, that was too much to ask: that he simultaneously speak and be silent, that he be impartial and totally biased, that he be quiet and loud at the same time, that he neither detract from my own masculinity nor fall to the obsequious depths of this jackass next to me. That's not too much, right? How ya feeling?" This is just like Grand Guignol of the kind of mind games he's gotta be playing on his people constantly, it's so gross.

Apprentice

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