Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B | 685 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson Five: Speak Up. Or: Don't, Depending

Oh, Surya's still talking. Well, "talking," I guess. "You've got RTBs: it's solid. What channels are they sold in? Is it direct-to-consumer? Is it internet?" I don't know what the hell he's talking about. James clears his throat: "What relevance does that have with our task?" Surya explains that asking irrelevant questions and talking out of your ass for hours and hours is relevant because it "helps us form our, like, Unique Selling Proposition." James stares at Surya and watches this filth coming out of his mouth. I got a Unique Selling Proposition for you right here: It goes, "Wanna buy some honey? Please buy some honey because I'm on a game show."

James interviews that Surya is a dumb-dumb who is overcomplicating everything to feed the horrible beast inside him that desperately needs to show off and snow everybody on the team with a hailstorm of pointless and meaningless jargon into thinking that he knows what he's talking about. And to beeeeee fair, half of Arrow is probably that stupid. Aaron starts wandering around like an outpatient, and James finally goes, "To me? It's like, making some honey, and go sell it, and make as much money as we can." Surya doesn't even skip a beat: "That's revenue maximization." I wanted to punch him so bad right then, but James has it covered: "...You mean making money?"

Apprentice

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