Apprentice
To Bee Or Not To Bee

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Five: Speak Up. Or: Don't, Depending

Sean nods sagely, disappointed by this stance: "Just to be yourself. Just be yourself, that's all we wanted." BARF! I hate him so much! "We" don't want anything! You're a PROP! A British sleazeball prop with a face like a cat's anus. You are not anything to Trump, you have no authority in this room or any other room, and every word you say underlines your total pathos. Trump's like, "Yeah, 'we' wanted that. You don't have to be a total hard-ass like Aimee -- who by the way needs to chill the hell out considering last boardroom her ass came close to getting fired -- but you needed to man up." Aimee's whole vibe goes clattering to the floor, and he apologizes; she assures him that she sees where he's coming from. Really what he just did was say, "I need you to do and be both everything and nothing at once, okay? That's not too much to ask? Because you know, Aaron here, that was too much to ask: that he simultaneously speak and be silent, that he be impartial and totally biased, that he be quiet and loud at the same time, that he neither detract from my own masculinity nor fall to the obsequious depths of this jackass next to me. That's not too much, right? How ya feeling?" This is just like Grand Guignol of the kind of mind games he's gotta be playing on his people constantly, it's so gross.

Stefani names Surya for two reasons, the marketing stuff and the fact that he kept wandering into her area and salting her game instead of running his own. Tim sadly has to finger Aaron on this one, because of the lack of foot traffic and the no marketing strategy. For which he was not present, because he was off on a fool's errand with a sow's ear. Frank giggles like a hick and tells Trump to tease Tim and Nicole about their unholy mutual crush, so Trump does, and this goes on for a million years and it's stupid, and Trump totally tells Tim that he might become the next Apprentice if he's "nailing" her, and everybody laughs, but NOBODY laughs louder than Sean. Yeah.

They engage in a bunch of lies about how banging Nicole would be enjoyable or titillating in any way, and she laughs stupidly, and Frank screams for Trump's attention, and Trump is like, "I want help from one of my compatriots, I want help from a smart guy from the Bronx!" In lieu of one of those, Frank uses a lot of words that don't make sense together to indict Surya, but then can't actually at the end of the day say it out loud, and the hedging pisses Trump off, so Frank finally says Surya, with a sad face. I don't know if all of Frank's sad faces are actual sadness or what; maybe he's got a touch of the schiz or something because he gets that sad affect at some weird times. Aaron says he's bringing back Surya and Nicole, with the proviso that Nicole shouldn't be fired, and is only coming back because on paper she is worthless. I mean for the task, she and Tim didn't add anything. That blows Trump's mind a little bit, and he has a cute moment with Stefani about how much she hates living in the tents, and dismisses them. I love that girl.

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Apprentice

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