Apprentice
To Bee Or Not To Bee

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Five: Speak Up. Or: Don't, Depending

Everybody heads to the Trump Mansion next door in their cute summer clothes. Upstairs, there's a fake moment where Trump fakely informs Viceroy Sean (I was promised Ivanka this season, people!) that he's going out of town on fake business and Sean should take care of things. Sean wiggles all over and sniffs some ass, and then they go downstairs, where Trump addresses the teams. He starts out by mentioning how Aaron didn't speak last night in the boardroom, so that's FOUR, and Aaron tries desperately to spin it, with a huge smile. "I tried to let you take the lead, sir," he says, and Trump indicates in his toadlike way that this was a bad choice and even worse explanation, then moves on to the task talk. It goes like this. California is the fifth-largest economy in the world, which is crazy because it's a state and not even a country, and one of the things California produces is honey. Derek makes a great "Oh...yeah?" face to this. One of the biggest "honeymakers" is Sue Bee, who honeys up forty million pounds a year. So the task is that they are going to harvest some Sue Bee honey, bottle it, and then sell it at Ralph's, lemonade-stand style. There is literally no reason for the harvesting part, and only tenuously is there a reason for the bottling part, but whatever: the task's going to be over in about ten minutes anyway. Derek and Stefani are not happy about the bee part of this plan. Trump stomps off on fake business; Sean's horrible face is right there on the front of his head where it always is.

Bees! Team Arrow drives to the apiary in their van; Nicole stares gape-mouthed out the window, while Stefani freaks out completely. She interviews cutely that she's scared out of her wits: "We're about to go and harvest honey from the bee farm and um...I'm going to get into a spacesuit and pray to god they don't sting me to death!" You can tell she's actually scared to death, but she's still just so charming. They tape her into her beekeeper suit and she talks about how scared she is of bees, and how horrible it is to contemplate being on the other side of a thin white sheet of plastic from a billion swarming, stinging bees. Dude, I hate bees. We went to Shady Creek once and sat outside, and this bee got obsessed with the ketchup bottle and we were getting weird about it and the waitress was like, "What's up?" And we said, "Scary bee, make it go away somehow," and she smiled this shit-eating grin and goes, "Beeeeee careful!" And I almost kicked her.

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Apprentice

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