Apprentice
To Bee Or Not To Bee

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Five: Speak Up. Or: Don't, Depending

Arrow packs up, leaving the house FILTHY as usual, and Frank sings a dumb song about the campsite, and Tim and Nicole whatever, and Frank interviews that it was like they'd just rented a hotel for the night, basically. And Nicole comes ever closer to explaining exactly why I so violently hate her: "It makes me hate camp so much more knowing what the other team gets! Knowing the luxuries on the other side, and we're living like dogs over here! Seriously, it's not even funny anymore! It's got to end. We have to win! ARGH!" She's so obsessed with bitching about this instead of manning up and dealing with it, but there's a little message behind it when she talks that has to do with the confusion she seems to have about how to excel. Like, whether or not they live in the house, it doesn't seem to have a lot to do with her team's performance on the task, or her own performance on the task: it's just like something that happens to them at random. Which is a kind of addict way to be. I'm not saying she's an addict -- or anything so interesting, by any stretch -- but I just have a deep mistrust of people who demonstrate a pattern of thinking this way. "I hate it outside because I am jealous of the other team! My jealousy is a stronger goad to perform well than any kind of innate need to excel! I am motivated by pettiness and too stupid to keep quiet about it!"

Meanwhile these "Lakers" have to do with somebody named Phil Jackson, and a man whose name is James, and Kareem Abdul Jabbar, who I didn't know was a real person. I thought he was just, like, Slimer or something. A fictional player of sports that showed up in cartoons or on Gilligan's Island. Oh MAN! Are the Harlem Globetrotters real? Do they still exist? I so want to go see them play sports or do whatever they do. Do they sing? I'm not clear on what they do. Sometimes it involves basketball, sometimes they travel through time and space. Whatever it is, I am in.

Sorry, so the Lakers and Laker Girls, who I remember from before and also Paula Abdul, clap for them, and there are some other people, players, two assistant coaches, and Phil Jackson gives a speech about teamwork, and then they dribble and pass the basketball, and those are all the words I know from basketball, there are hoops and squeaking on the floor, and some lady watches them play against the Lakers, or rather, "some Lakers and some other people," and I don't know if they're doing well, but I imagine that they are not. How do you keep your eye on the ball when it moves so fast? Sports, wow. Aimee picks her head up off the ground long enough to tell us how "amazing" it was to play the sports with the sports players, and how they had almost forgotten how to win after the last two tasks, but now they remember that it is: good.

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Apprentice

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