Frank: "At the end of the day, Martin didn't show what I expected, and Tim stepped up as Sales PM, and I don't know how sales was working, and I gave my all, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." This is also where he starts to freak the fuck out. Martin too.
This Show Is Going To Be Cracked-Out Shark-Jumping Awesome: Exhibit E
Martin: "Now I'm going to get upset."
Jacob: "Also even gayer."
Frank: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."
Martin: "Whine whine whine, squeal squeal squeal."
Trump: "This is a fucking travesty. Tim, you can leave."
Tim totally leaves, with a grin, and Frank gets even weirder and screamier and starts making fists again, and he's an "asset" and pissed that he lost by just a little and not a lot, and blah blah blah blah blah blah, and Martin. Oh my Lord.
Martin: "Mr. Trump you might appreciate this phrase: 'A new broom sweeps clean, but an old broom knows the corners.'"
Jacob: "Fuck you sideways, you mincing, prancing fucktard. Shit on your sayings. I got a fuckin' saying, it goes like this: Fuck you sideways, you mincing, prancing fucktard. I just made it up!"
Frank: "Scream scream scream! Blah blah blah!"
Martin: "Whine whine whine! Squeal squeal squeal!"
Trump, Ivanka, Heidi: "OMG, what now? Brooms what? Seriously? What the fuck just happened?"
I realize this part of the recap is boring but I mean, this is literally what happened. I am quite nearly transcribing the episode for you. I don't know how to spice that up. It was horrible. Horrible boredom, horrible noises, horrible people saying horribly stupid, empty things. Why should I protect you from that?
Trump: "Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank, how about Tim is awesome and went to Harvard, but thinks you should be fired?"
Frank: "You're the greatest businessman ever." (I swear that this was his response.)
More screaming, price point talk -- Did you know another word for "price point" is "price"? Did you know that? Why didn't you tell somebody? -- Martin again, for like the eighth time, tries to get Ivanka to tell everybody how great he is and such a hard worker, and for the eighth time, Ivanka's response is slack-jawed amazement and a curt rejection. They talk a bunch of bollocks about nothing whatsoever and I think Martin gets the GERD or possibly is about to puke, and Ivanka laughs in his stupid face, and whatever, and Frank and Trump get into a conversation so stultifying I can't even. Trump asks Martin about his education, and Frank obnoxiously answers for him, and Trump and Frank get into this semantic symposium about how you shouldn't talk about Martin in the positive, and should in fact shut up, and Frank's few literacy skills continue to drip out of his horrible ears, leading him to say the following idiotic statements, and many variations on them, and a lot of blah blah blah.













Comments